Country Continuation

As you've seen on T's blog, I've been doing a bit of cow-punching and fence-checking lately at the farm and on the ranch. This - along with the hundreds of miles of corn and soy beans that I've been driving past have got me in the mood for country music. Since I know that most of my readers never get to experience this true American art form, I thought I'd share some of the more memorable bits.

Because country music has a rather broad range of perspectives on life all set to the same types of tunes and rhythms, you get some interesting combinations between commercial breaks. Each of the following pairs of songs were played back to back on the same radio station over the last week. Just in case the titles aren't enough, I've included the last bit of lyrics from the first song and the first portion of the next .... and just like the radio DJ, I'll play 'em back to back.

-----

[Jesus Take the Wheel]

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder and that car came to a stop

She cried when she saw that baby in the back seat sleepin' like a rock

For the first time in a long time she bowed her head to pray

She said I'm sorry for the way I've been livin' my life

I know I've got to change So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel Take it from my hands'

Cause I can't do this on my own I'm letting go

So give me one more chance Save me from this road I'm on

Jesus take the wheel

Every time you take a sip In this smoky atmosphere

You press that bottle to your lips and I wish I was your beer

In the small there of your back your jeans are playing peekaboo

I'd like to see the other half of your butterfly tattoo.

Hey that gives me an idea Let's get out of this bar

Drive out into the country and find a place to park.

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight

I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks

I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers and

I'd like to check you for ticks.

[Ticks]

--

[Independence Day]

Well she lit up the sky that fourth of July

but by the time the firemen come they

Just put out the flames and took down some names

and send me to the county home

Now I ain’t sayin’ it’s right or it’s wrong

but maybe it’s the only way

talk about your revolution
It’s Independence Day

Let freedom ring, let the white dove sing

let the whole world know that

Today is a day of reckoning

let the weak be strong, let the right be wrong
Roll the stone away, let the guilty pay

It’s independence day

Plowing these fields in the hot summer sun

over by the gate lordy here she comes

With a basket full of chicken and a big cold jug of sweet tea

I make a little room and she climbs on up

Open up a throttle and stir a little dust

Just look at her face - she ain't a foolin me

She thinks my tractor's sexy It really turns her on

She's always staring at me While I'm chuggin along

She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land

She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan

She's the only one who really understands what gets me

She thinks my tractor's sexy

[She Thinks My Tractors Sexy]

--

[Before He Cheats]

Right now, she's probably up singing some

white-trash version of Shania karaoke..

Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"

and he's thinking that he's gonna lucky,

Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth

of that bathroom polo.

and he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side

of his pretty little suped-up 4 wheel drive,

Carved my name into his leather seat...

I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,

Slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

If you're tellin me I'm not on fire

You're just preachin to the choir

I've gotten dull as old barbed wire from livin'
Last night I watched the evening news

It was the same ol nothin new

It should have cut me right in two

But it didnt I dont know why it didnt

But I wanna feel somethin

Somethin thats a real somethin That moves me,

that proves to me Im still alive

I wanna heart that beats and bleeds

A heart thats bustin at the seams

I wanna care, I wanna cry,

I wanna scream I just wanna feel somethin

[I Wanna Feel Something]

What will people think...!?

I was between audio books this week .... so I spent a bit of time listening to "music" in the car. Whenever that happens, I end up being very reflective about my music selections and tend to have a few more flashbacks than normal.

When I was new to the corporate telecom world I was asked to participate in a product test for partnership with the Christian Broadcast Network. I'll give you a moment to think about that - two things that don't go great together (unlike peanut-butter and chocolate) are telemarketing and Pat Robertson. The basic premise was this: If one of the nice little old ladies (that sent the 700 club money every month anyway) would just sign up for "CBN Phone Reach" aka MCI Telecom d.b.a. Telecom*USA ... the big bad phone company would shell out 10% of their bill back to Pat and his never ending parade of evangelical newsmakers.

I mention all that to set the stage for one of those quasi-adolescent super spiritual holier than thou fantasies. You know the kind that I'm talking about ..... you single handedly win some famous person to Christ, perform a Moses-level miracle, or do serious battle with level-3 demonic horder with only your Christian t-shirt and heavily highlighted KJV. I'm pretty sure that I was (for the most part) over this need for approval phase of my life, but the idea of getting to dramatically demonstrate my faith to my corporate peers had definite "altar-ego" appeal.

A little way into the project, It was obvious that the team I was training/coaching was likely to set some serious sales records (not to mention a record for sex line fraud claims). This was playing right into my master plan. The team could all run up to the stage at the next presidential awards ceremony to recieve their awards to the way-cool grungy "Jesus Freak" by DC Talk. But I digress.....

Tonight - as I was listening to the 'Jesus Freak' album I remembered my vision of tent-maker glory and felt sick to my stomach. The music is still cool - but now I know that it wouldn't save anyone ... no matter how cool the concert t-shirt and WWJD bracelet were. Still I wonder if I've slipped to far the other way. Rarely do I find myself in a place to share my faith. I'm much more balanced in my approach and I probably leave a better taste in those I share with, but it so rare that I find myself in an opportunity - I wonder if it's me hiding my light under a bushel.

"We Can Hardly Stand The Wait ..."

As I was growing up .... the Christmas Season started the day after Thanksgiving with tree purchasing and/or decorating. This included pulling out the Christmas music and fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-ing.

Well, I'm used to the stores putting out Christmas stuff before Halloween - but I wasn't quite ready for that little nagging voice in the back of my head singing Christmas songs. I've been whistling 'Frosty the Snowman', 'It Came Upon a Midnight Clear' and the Chipmunk's 'Christmas Song' all through the past week. I finaly gave in and listened to Citi on a Hill's: "It's Christmas Time" in the car on Thursday evening and this morning as well.

Today though, as Christmas seems to come earlier and earlier, I'm wondering if it's a good thing. Certainly a bit of Christmas cheer is beneficial for all - or is it? Are we diluting the sacred by spreading it out over 4 months? We are to keep the "God with us" all through the year - but do we limit ourselves (and Him) by making it all about the Nativity and Country Styled Snow-People?

Each of the last few years I've been more and more OK with leaving some of our decorations in the box. Don't get me wrong, I still want a tree and Christmas carols in the house; but I'm not so sure that setting up more than one fake evergreen will make the Holiday any more joyus. I'll still try to find that perfect place for our ever-sprawling Colonial Christmas Village, but do we really need 52 Santa figurines?

On the City On A Hill album I mentioned above there's a really neat song about Mary and Joseph's inner turmoil over parenting the Messiah called 'Bethlehem Town'. It's a good song ... but they put a throw-away line about the wise men in the chorus and specifically time their gifts to that night in Bethlehem. Grrrrrrrr. I'm ok with 'the world' getting bits of the story wrong (or wholy misinterpreting it ala Touched by an Angel). That's only understandable since they are presenting a view of archtypes - not the real people that will have real struggles raising a real child.

The Jars of Clay song loses so much by playing lose with the facts (presumebly for a good rhyme) in the midst of an otherwise true portraly of the miracle of incarnation. Maybe that's my concern with this rush for Christmas - that we've somehow spread it so thin that it's no longer important to get the details right .... no longer special and reverent ... no longer a 'mass' for the Coming of the Christ Child.

" .... please Christmas don't be late" - or early.

An Island Never Cries

A winters day In a deep and dark december ...

If you've been reading my rather infrequent posts, you know that I recently got the Best of Simon and Garfunkle as part of my Best Of Extravaganza. It's spent some time in the car with me and I've found myself reflecting on how different the music sounds to me.

When I say different, I don't mean how much clearer everything is, how much I miss the hisses and pops from my old record or even that I'm catching lyrics I never heard correctly before (all of which is true). Rather, it's me that's differnt ... and nothing on the album typifies this more than 'I Am a Rock'.

... I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.

I am a rock,
I am an island.

This song was an anthem for me. Yes, I knew that Paul was being ironic and sarcastic as he quoted John Donne ( ... no man is an island ... ), but I always took the lyrics to say, ha - you're wrong I can be an island!!!

Ive built walls, A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.

I am a rock,
I am an island.

This quite simply isn't me anymore. I don't think I'm altogether more healthy than I was .. maybe it's just experience that has taught me the value of friendships. Well, experience and a lot more practice.

Dont talk of love, But Ive heard the words before;
Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.

I am a rock,
I am an island.

Ok - this one was completely out of my league back then. There was a brief span of time in my Junior year (with the emotional maturity of a 12 year old girl) that I had the whole bemoaning love - not yet real - yet lost thing going on. But this just sounded cool and (to me) made for a good sensitive guy impression.

I have my books And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.

I am a rock,
I am an island.

I used to think the lyric here was safe within my 'tomb' rather than womb. I still think that would sound cooler (is that a word?). The book and poetry bit is interesting to reflect on. It's kind of a chicken/egg thing. As I've gotten older (and less like the person in this song) the less I've spent time with books. I know that might surprise some of you - but I used to be even more bookish. Nowadays I'm limited to the shallow end of the pool: no philosphy, very little history, and God help me .... books on CD. The poetry is all but gone and just about everything I wrote buggs me more than a human video. I say all that to wonder outloud .... did I take on my bookishness as part of the persona of the 'island' or did my literary leanings coddle the persona. Either way, one or both were (at least partly) fake.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island .... well, you know the rest.

Summer Music - Part 2

The Best of Kenny Rogers - The Millenium Collection$2.95


What can I say, "you gotta know when to hold-em and know when to fold-em". One of the first movies I remember seeing at the drive-in was "Six-Pack" in which Kenny plays a stock-car driver that reluctantly takes on the care of 6 orphans with a love of racing and kicks his own depression for their sake (always a good approach to mental health). This CD is different than most collections and best ofs in that it has more old stuff than poular hits including Kenny's original band, the First Edition where he displays none of his classic gravelly voice - Ironically he sounds more like Donny Osmond.

Saturday Night Fever - The Original Movie Soundtrack
$2.95


"You can tell by the way I walk, I'm a woman's man - no time to talk". After seeing Grease on my last post, some of you may be thinking that I'm a John Travolta fan. This is not actually the case - I don't think I've ever seen the movie all the way through. In fact - I remember seeing the disco spoof in the movie Airplane and not getting the joke.

Nnothing more to say about this one other than this ..... burn baby burn - disco inferno!







The Best of Simon & Garfunkel
$2.95


It's a still-life watercolor
Of a now late afternoon
As the sun shines through the curtain lace
And shadows wash the room

Simon and Garfunkel lyrics still have a powerfull effect on me - 23 years after I first listed to them. I saw the concert in central park on a pbs special one saturday morning. Mom and or Dad said that they had an old S&G album that I could listen to on the record player.

The record was Parsely, Sage, Rosemary, and Tyme. It has classics like "The Dangling Conversation" (above) and less worthy numbers like "Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine" But the one that topped it all was "The Seven O'clock News" in which they sing a soft version of Silent Night over a newscast telling of the war and the death of Lenny Bruce. Saddly, it is the only one of my favorites not on this disc. My Dad is still holding on to the album.

Susan Ashton - So Far
$2.95


I met Susan Ashton backstage at a Stephen Curtis Chapman concert while talking to Scott and Christine Dente (aka Out of the Grey). That's about as much name dropping as you'll get from me. The thing is, I didn't know who she was and was surprised to see her as the opening act.

I loved her songs (just her voice and a guitar) and knew that I had to get her album. See ... I do know what that's like - though some won't belive it.

Anyway, I used one of my comps with my Sparrow record rep and listened to the disc for the next 6 months constantly. Then my roomate bought it from me for gas money (or forgot to return it) - the jerk; and I've needed to replace it ever since. Saddly the orginal is out of print - so I had to make do with another best of.

A Mighty Wind - The Original Movie Soundtrack
$2.95



If you've never heard of this movie - stop right now and go rent it .... then buy the soundtrack (and hope you get as good of a deal as I did).

This movie was made by the folks that brought us Spinal Tap (you can see them here in the Red Shirts). This time though instead of Sex Drugs & Rock-n-Roll, it's the under-belly of folk-music that is lampooned.

Parker Posey (top with pig-tails) is a slutty banjo picker in the Main Street Singers. The surprising musical star of the show though, is Jim's Dad himself Eugene Levey. While all the stars do their own singing (and most wrote their own songs) .... Eugene as 'Mitch' blows them all away as a slightly forgetfull and fried hippie that sings about a kiss at the end of the rainbow.

The CD also features Levy's own 'Ballad of Bobby and June" which isn't in the movie - but is as classic of a folky war-protest song as any from the 60's. It's too bad John Denver wasn't alive to make a cameo with Kermit.

Summer Music - Part 1

T and I joined a BMG music club about a year ago. One of the reasons these clubs are so enticing (and hard to get rid of) is their persistant habit of giving you "free" CDs. While they are not truly free - you still have to pay S&H - it's nearly impossible to cancel a membership when you have the potential of low-priced web purchases. We completed our required number of full price purchases and have taken advantage of a "free" disc here and there ... but a few weeks ago we found ourselves with 11 free discs and no more obligation to buy. We went shopping.

The sheer volume of CDs that we could pick expanded my shopping habits and I found myself thinking "what would I never buy for full price - but still like to have". This then (as well as T's picks) is how the following ended up at our house.

Ultimate Alabama - 20 #1 Hits
$2.49



With songs like 'Born Country' and 'Love in the First Degree', this is a must have for road-trips. I admit though that my own personal knowledge of Alambama is limited to what I occasionally heard on the radio half-way through Illinois when country stations are the only ones capable of making across the corn fields to your vehicle. I'm enjoying all the songs I know and learning ones that T can't believe I didn't recognize.

N was disapointed that they didn't include 'Sweet Home Alabama', which she was sure was their greatest hit off all time. I was very kind when I let her know that Leonard Skynnard sang the song. I did not however, tell her that I didn't know this myself until I was in my 30's after hearing it hundreds of times at Lambert's resturant in Ozark, MO.



Behind the Music - The John Denver Collection
$2.49

N also told me that John Denver looks "creepy". After talking to her more about this, it seems that his large 70's glasses are what strikes her as odd. When she saw another recording of him from the 90's (dressed in a Hawaiian shirt without the glasses) she said he wasn't so wierd.
Creepy or not, everyone should have access to 'Annie's Song', 'Country Road', and 'Calypso' for those critical times when everything else but a Colorado Rocky Mountain High is too far away . I was disapointed though, that none of John's duets with Kermit and the other muppets made it to the VH1 collection.







Grease - The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
$2.49

Score one for the church of Scientology!
Mr. Travolta (along with Ms. Newton-John) light up those 'Summer Nights' with the sounds of Rydel High's T-Birds and Pink Ladies. While I don't exactly hide the fact that I'm a sucker for musicals, this is one that I look both ways before whistling or singing.
As good as Grease is, it can never compare to Olivia's greatest movie: Zanadu. Musicals are great - but roller-skating will always hold a special place in my heart.




The Mamas and the Papas - Greatest Hits
$2.49

'California Dreamin', 'Monday Monday', and Kelly's mom from 90210 shaking a tamborine - how cool is that? I remember reading an article about how they had to change the words of the second verse of 'C-Dreamin' so it could be played on the radio. I've mentioned this before in a blog - but now that I know this ... and really paid attention to the words, this is a satisfyingly depressive song - not just another beach-bum diddy. I Dig Rock and Roll Music .... no wait, that's a Peter Paul and Mary Song about the Mama's and The Papas.


















Donny Osmond - Somwhere in Time
$2.49

Ok - so now you can be sure that I didn't make all of our music selections. No comment on this one - I'll just list the tracks of all the cover songs you can hear when you go see Donny in Branson:
- Without you - I Can't Go For That - All Out of Love - Could It Be I'm Falling In Love - Don't Dream It's Over - After The Love Has Gone - Would I Lie To You - I'm Not In Love - Puppy Love - Happy Together - Don't Give Up On Us Baby - Plus the special BONUS Track: No One Has To Be Alone (from The Land Before Time IX, Journey to Big Water). If you don't know what LBT is or understand the signifigance of the "IX" in the title, you can't possibly know how scary this is to me.



The Best of Peter Paul and Mary - Ten Years Together
$2.49

This PP&M record came out in 1970 - long before they were singing children's songs (other than 'Puff'). Having listened to 'If I had a Hammer' and other tracks on an album I bought last year, I have to admit that I kinda miss the hisses and pops ... somehow it dosen't seem right to hear all the stuff in background so clearly. It's almost like I'm cheating.
Since N has studied Dr. King's March on Wachington, I thought it would be neat to connect PP&M's songs with the civil rights movement for her. After hearing 'Blowin In the Wind' she guessed that it was "about a war - right?".




..... there's 6 of 11 - more to come.

More to Come (# 91)

Sorry I've been so short on posts (9 more to go until 100). I'm sure I'll have more to say after I get into my newest audio book - 'The Intuitionist'. It's on hold for me at the library and will be the first book I've ever read soley based on a book critics review

It looks like T has been keeping everyone up to date on the household happenings, so I'll only report that I now have a bluetooth headset (thanks t!). While this is not nessesarily new technology, I feel very cool. N thinks I look like that girl from Star Trek - which I can only presume is Seven of Nine. Not exactly the look I was going for ... but it is most definately cool.

Speaking of cool .... (stop reading now forrest) ...... I got 2 DC talk collections from the CD club we joined a year ago. It was time to use our free CDs and .. well there you have it. I just wished one of them would have had 'Heavenbound' - I've started to forget some of the words.

.... down with the dc talk - d .. d .. down with the dc talk - are you down with the dc talk?

Grape Soda

I found myself this evening at the local Price Chopper. Since I was thirsty, I decided to grab a soda from the cold case at the end of the register - Welch's Grape Soda to be specific.

While this is certainly not the only time in 12 years that I've had a welch's purple happy party on my tastebuds, I couldn't help but think back to the days that I was "working" late nights as a campus radio jockey and feeding all the spare change I could find into the 1970's coke machine in the station lobby to get my grape fix.

I had all but given up my dream to be a dj before T and I met - after all getting a psychology degree was much more likely to get me a job (ha ha). Besides, I have a weird voice and, as Forrest so often points out, there is a very limited market for 'classic Christian rock' and an even smaller number of radio stations with pressing need for on air talent. It was fun; I had my own office down at the station with 'marketing director' on the door and a healthy amount of CDs coming from my other 'job' at the bookstore. I even got to say our unofficial tag line on the air as I signed off at midnight:

"KECC .... One God ... One Watt .... One Speaker .... One Listener"

I covered the '92 election from the news desk, recorded a few commercials (beside the ones I did for class), and even got to do an interview with 4Him .... Oh the memories. Then again, one of the best things about doing radio was that it got me to quit writing poetry. More on that next time.

Ink Blots

All the talk about the ink blot test on Dirt's blog reminded me of something.

I read 'Flowers for Algernon" in 8th grade. After hearing the blob test refered to as the "Raw Shark" test so much .... I have to think of it first before remembering that it's called a "Rorschach". Does anyone else remeber this story. It was required reading for me, so I'm assuming a few other folks have it rustling about in their heads as well.

I often see Charlie Gordon when I look in the mirror. So many times, I'll look back over my life and see a part of me that seems to have slipped back into mediocrity - sliding quickly into being sub-standard. That is, if I'm honnest with myself, the greatest terror of my existence ... to lose what I so tightly clutch in my little hand. Like Charlie, I fear losing my ability to reason (such as it is) and I fear losing my compassion, my humour, my self.

I'm not sure, in this case, that it is better to have loved / thought and lost. Eventually the void would be so great that you don't recognize the parts that are missing. Still, there must be flashes of what you once were - what you once felt.

Yet, in spite of this fear, it is exactly what I often allow in my own spiritual walk. I conciously stop becoming a more perfect instrument and choose to regress into something less than I expect even the fallen to be. Like Charlie, I've grown so much that I can diagnose my own condition, but I'm powerless to stop its progress.


"Here I am again alone. Afraid I'll lose all that I own
Yet you see me as your own I cannot fall.
And what I am I still am not at times I count the cost
yet I find there's nothing lost if I give it all.

Too many times I'm back inside wanting desperately to hide
Yet I know, i know you say you have to die
Too many times you hear my cries I'm at the end of all my tries
So, I'm open Lord, so teach me how to die ."

(Cheesy 80s lyrics provided by: M.W.S.)

This Thing is Real

There is a really old Carman song from the Sunday's on the Way album called, 'This thing is Real'. This was way back when Carman was playing his home church in Tulsa OK, had one song on the radio, and hadn't even dreamed of making cheesy boxing movies or playing Vegas. Like all good Carman songs, it starts out in first person narrative:

"Well I went down to the local A of G
... to look around and see what I could see
I heard somebody shout
spun myself about ...
And saw this big ole' deacon man
running straight toward me
--
His face was red
He shook his head
Looked up at me and said, This Thing is Real!"

Now this is when the backup singers start doing Doo-WAP and we go on to hear about how both he and his cousin Tony get "filled". I know that this can be a touchy subject in our circles - we all seem to have a different perspective on what is often called our "Distinctive Doctrine" - the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and the initial evidence.

As I mentioned in my last post, this past weekend was the Kansas State Pow-Wow for Royal Rangers. Now I've been to a few of these and they all have the same spiritual components. Just like any good set of A/G evangelistic meetings. There are three services:

Service 1 - You need to get Saved ... Or at least "rededicated" .. or get over your pride if you don't think you need to go up to the altar.

Service 2 - You need to get Filled ... or refilled ... or filled deeper.

Service 3 - You have a mission to get other people Saved and Filled ... or to at least attend a saving, filling, mission-ing camp or services.

I think most of you already know that I think we as a fellowship put more emphasis on "the evidence" than we need to and that it has a lot more to do with distinguishing us from another denomination than being the barometer of our relationship with Christ. With that in mind, you can understand that I don't usually look forward to Service 2.

Last Saturday night was a service 2 and I was minding my own business - keeping to the back, praying and singing while the "side-show" was going on up front by the fire. (Ranger speakers have the extra good visualization of a roaring fire right up by the altar to make the tongues thing even more dramatic). The teenager sitting next to me leaned over and asked if I would pray with him .... sure I said - confident that it would be something innocuous like a family member going through hard times, direction for life, maybe even some adolescent guilt.

Nope - he wanted me to pray that they boys that had gone up front would get "filled". By the time I realized this he had already grabbed my hand and was praying OUTLOUD for those at the altars. Then he paused .... didn't say amen .... and dear lord, squeezed my hand to let me know it was my turn.

I started out pretty safely, praying for God's will in each boys life, a stronger relationship and daily walk - nice things a Baptist would pray; but then something happened. I didn't have a big message/interpretation experience like some of you might be expecting-but I felt very led to pray that God would "Send down the fire" - but not in an Acts 2 context, rather I was praying for a 1 Kings experience. I found myself praying that the water would be poured out over the offering - that it would fill the trench around the altar, so that if the fire was sent; it would be God that did the lighting.

I don't know that I've ever made that connection before. With all the sermons preached on the the Baptism, I'm sure it's not original. Still it resonated with my soul. It took me back to my own experiences that I'd pushed away long ago. I saw the fakers, the coachers, the altar pushers when I was young - but I also saw the real thing. I don't know if I saw the real thing Saturday night - I never made it up to pray with the boys that went forward, but I know I prayed for the real thing. And that was a big step for me.

"This automatic
Old Fanatic - bless Him
Got Filled

Well you may not understand
why we shout and raise our hands
It's only because this thing is real."

"Re-Stack"

Like all organizations, my employer has it's own set of buzz words to describe key events and actions. Many of them I've heard before from other employers - but I'm hearing a lot about a new term "re-stack". Don't worry this has nothing to do with "downsizing" or "rightsizing", or even "strategic alignment / positioning"; it's about reorganizing the cubicle farms that we live in to accommodate more people and or shuffling groups to be closer together or further apart.

When the Senior Site manager for KC joined the company (about a year ago), she immediately recognized some very big "opportunities" (a.k.a. screw-ups) with the way our department is organized. For example, when you walk into the office area, you are forced to walk down a narrow cubicle aisle with 6 foot walls. You can't actually enter anyone's area from the "tunnel"; instead you have to walk the entire length of the office and then turn into one of the "ghettos" to your right or left and walk back towards the wall.

I work for the Collections part of the organization, so turn left at the end of the tunnel and look for the desk that is both the closest to and the furthest from the door you entered. I also am lucky enough to have my back to the rest of the ghetto, so even though you will have been in the office for 2 minutes already, I will still be surprised to find you standing behind me.

The restack was requested about a year ago and was supposed to happen over the holiday's last year. I even boxed up a good amount of my stuff so that I could be easily moved if it occurred while I was on vacation. Needless to say, it hasn't happened yet; although today we received word that a special cross functional team would be working on the problem by first designing what the ideal training department should look like. This means that somewhere - someone will be getting lunch catered in while they draw little color coded flip-charts with diagrams about equal distribution of printers and coat racks. Unless there is some serious "rightsizing", I won't need to pack my stuff up for a very long time.

Today I also heard about ways that we will accommodate the large number of employees like myself that work out of this building, but really have nothing to do with the operation here in KC. The pipe dreams included, "everyone will have super secure laptops and wireless headsets in a paperless environment so we can share our desks and work from home when needed". Since I spend 90% of my time each day staring at a monitor (the size of the one I have on my laptop at home) and talking on the same kind of Plantronics headset that I used when I was a telemarketer in college - that would be an improvement.

.... of course they won't want to retrofit the new equipment into anything other than the new set up. so they'll likely have to wait until after the "restack".

.... And his hunger burns
So he starts to roam the streets at night
And he learns how to steal
And he learns how to fight
In the ghetto

Then one night in desperation
A young man breaks away
He buys a gun, steals a car,
Tries to run, but he don’t get far
And his mama cries

As a crowd gathers ’round an angry young man
Face down on the street with a gun in his hand
In the ghetto

.... As her young man dies,
On a cold and gray Chicago mornin’,
Another little baby child is born
In the ghetto

Dreamin'

T said that I shouldn't post this to my blog. Her concern was that I would look stupid or at least monumentaly slow. I figure it's too late for that- so here goes. . . I was listenin' to Disc 1 of the Carpenter's Gold collection yesterday on the way home.

One of the ways that they were able to sell this album after all of the other collections of Carpenter's songs out there, was to release a bunch of previously unreleased covers that Karen did. We get to hear surprisin' takes on songs like Rod Stewart's 'Reason to Believe' (as an almost country song). A Soulful 'Rainbow Connection' is also on included; it was going to be in the original Muppet movie - they had Kermit sing it instead :-(.

The 3rd best song on the disc (behind 'Superstar' and a fully orchestrated 'Calling Occupants...') is a very Rockin' version of the old Mamas and the Papas standby 'California Dreamin'. Last night I was singin' along - thinkin that I really should get a M&P CD when I finaly heard Karen singin' the line that I'd missed all these years:

"Oh, the preacher likes the cold (preacher likes the cold)
He knows I'm gonna stay (knows I'm gonna stay)
Oh, California dreamin' (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day "

Not sure why this hit me like it did, but I had alway's heard: Oh, the Preacher ........ blah blah, blah - Blah blah blah blah - California Dreamin....

Suddely I unserstood - the song is about wantin' to go to California, not dreamin' while in California ..... **lightbulb**

This is way too long of a post to continue on a topic so silly - but I will ....

If you are still readin', you may have said to yourself (as T did), "well, yeah? - duhh"after all ... the song says "I'd be safe and warm - if I was in LA". I had always though they were just in Northern california. Actually, the fact that all the leaves were brown - and the sky was grey sounds more like a northern Cal winter ... since I think of midwestern snowy winters.

What, then was the song about - if not goin' to California?. I always thought they were deamin' of leavin' California and a relationship that seemed to be like the dry - lifeless winter they were experiencin'.

"If I didn't tell her (if I didn't tell her)
I could leave today (I could leave today)
Oh, California dreamin' (California dreamin') "

I guess just wantin' to be warm isn't quite the same - the song somehow means less to me now.

Singin' In the Boys Room

Singin' In the Boy's Room

So there I was - minding my own business; playing a game of Yachtzee behind door number 2. As I heard the door open I noticed that the guy walking in was humming rather intently and the tune seemed oddly familiar.
..
Then the humming got louder ... followed by some un-zipping and other sounds ... then he starts in with the "Do Deee Do De Dum, De Do Dum Dum Do Dee Do Dee". I was starting to remember where I had heard the tune when he breaks into a full voiced, "How great, is our God - sing With Me. how great is our God ....." as he heads for the sinks.

As I mentioned last week, we now have the new (way to sensitive) fancy "laser" flushing mechanisms. I didn't mean to - but a sudden sneeze hit me and I leaned forward a bit, causing a really loud flush that caught him about halfway through a rather off-key "GREEEAATTT". It was instantly silent in the bathroom. He walked very quickly to the door (forgetting to wash).

I don't even know who he was - but I doubt it was one of those "angels unaware" moments.

Paula Abdul

When the Thursday night conversation turns to music, I tend to have a bit less to say than others. At that point in the evening, my role is primarily to reference 80s and 90s acts that make BB and Forrest cringe. Last night I admitted to owning a dance mix album of Paula Abdul's 'Forever Your Girl' when I was in college.

BB immediately grabbed his chest in panic as his heart seemed to stop at the mention of lil' miss Laker Girl and Forrest had a good laugh. We had been discussing the effect that large record labels have on pop culture by using payola (aka bribes) to get DJs to play a crappy artists music. I felt that while cheesy and predictable, artist like Abdul have a place in the musical world and that if their labels want to spend money to market their product, then so be it - it's called free enterprise and that particular right is just as much a part of Americana as free expression.

I'm sure Forrest (and Clearing) will comment to clarify his position, but it was suggested that this type of marketing by saturation appeals to the "lowest" common denominator and brings down the quality of music as a creative industry. My problem with this perspective is that because music is an artistic expression, it is incongruous to qualitatively evaluate music across a group of individuals. if music had a productive output that measured quanitatively (like say, agricultural methods) variations could be measured against each other with a common standard

My (admittedly) limited perspective of what is well vs. poorly done is shaped by my own experiences and tastes. Qualities that I might find draw me to one artist, might demonstrate the worst in music to someone else. Even the most atonal caterwauling of some South American tribe are very well received back home. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it seems a bit elitist to suggest that the styles appreciated by one group (the larger in this case) are of less value than another smaller group.

For example, I used to listen to a lot of Dave Weckl's solo recordings. Dave is acknowledged to be one of the top drummers in the world and is a sought after studio musician in Jazz, fusion, and symphonic circles. When I listen to Weckl, I hear the precision of his 'sextuplet paradiddles' (drummer geek-speak) and the way he blends 5/8 and 2/4 and 9/8 time signatures without losing a beat or the listener. Any non-drummer that I ever played Weckl for (regardless of there level of musical training or tastes) thought it was busy and got very boring very quick - every drummer just listened in awe.

Appreciation what the artist is trying to accomplish has a lot to do with evaluating music. If it's a boom-chick Merle Haggard song - meant to be played in juke boxes and pick up trucks, there's not much use in blending a contra tenor's vocals with the bass line. If the desired effect is something that makes you want to jump around like a basketball cheerleader, Paula got it done.

Maybe I'll post about Garth Brooks next. :-)

KodaChrome

"As I look back, on all the crap I did in high school. Its a wonder I can speak at all."


My small part in the Human Video revolution was back before we even called them "Videos". We considered ourselves mimes and would wear the white faces and black clothes to look the part. I had the white gloves and a trademark tripple tear-drop painted just below my left eye.


The first song I performed in was a "Music Mime" of Petra's 'For Annie' (see #2,3,5,13,15,20 below) followed quickly in succession by:

The Carman Trilogy:- Sunday's on the Way (#1,2,4,5,6,8,12,18)
- Lazarus (#4,9,10,11,12,14,21)
- The Champion (#1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,10,11,12,13,14,18,19)

THE TWENTY-ONE ESSENTIAL HUMAN VIDEO MOVES
1. Somebody Get's Nailed to Something
2. Tragic Half-Slump to Indicate Dying
3. Sudden & Thudding Fall to Floor to Indicate Dying/Failure
4. Demons Writhe Arround Mennacingly
5. Smoking Gestures to Indicate Worldliness
6. Bottle Tipping Gestures to Indicate Worldliness
7. Slutty Strutting / Wiggling to Indicate Worldliness
8. Angelic / Smugg Looking Resurected Character
9. Petting / Stroking Imaginary Animal (usually a Lamb)
10. Opening Imaginary Book (Bible/Book of Judgement)
11. Pointing to Imaginary Book
12. Double-Arm Shielding of Face in Bright (Heavanly) Light
13. Double-Arm Swimming Gesture to Indicate a Mist/Fog
14. Despairing Far-Off Look
15. Pill Taking to Indicate Drug Use / Suicide
16. Imaginary Gun to Temple - Suicide
17. Imaginary Rope - Suicide
18. Imaginary Knife/Spear Wound
19. Filler Choreography While Chorus Repeats Endlessly
20. Standing Really Still While Chorus Repeats Endlessly
21. Akward/Abrupt Fadeout to Prevent Endless Repeating


Although I can proudly say, that I have never performed to a Ray Boltz song, this prolific slow-worded / story song writer has touched the human video world like no other.

The Boltz Lamb Trilogy:
- Watch the Lamb (#1,2,8,9,10,11,14,19,20,....21)
- There Stood a Lamb (#1,2,8,9,10,11,14,19,20,.... 21)
- I Pledge Allegiance To The Lamb (#1,2,8,9,10,11,14,19,20, then 21) + (5,6,7,15)

The Other Boltz Trilogy:- Thankyou (#1,3,8,10,11,12,12,14,19,20, .... 21)
+#9 Just Because its a Boltz
- Feel the Nails (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,10,11,12,13,14,21)
+ #9 Just Because it a Boltz
- Saving Grace (#1,2,5,6,7,10,11,12,13,14,18,19)
+#9 Just Because its a Boltz

After the makeup, I did move on to coreograph a couple of White Heart songs for a Youth group that I helped during college. You might notice that these have less of the essential moves items associated with them - but I'm sure that some moves that I considered good back then are tragically overdone now.

- Desert Rose (#1,4,10,11)
- The River Will Flow (#12,13,14)

As you might expect, I was very concerned with timing key visual effects to associate them with interesting things that were going on in the music. Chris McHugh, White Hearts drummer until the end of FrEEdom, provided a lot of neat queues that the lesser "boltz'ian" videos just don't have .... except for the whole "hammer ringing" thing, which was pretty obvious to begin with.

FrEEdom

When I was a teenager I got a Walkman for Christmas. I'm not sure what brand it was and it might actually have been 2 or more walkmans that I'm remembering together.

The point is that I - like so many others spent a good amount of my life with headphones on. And just like it's trendy step-cousins, the disc man and the ipod, a walkman can be a bit of an anti-social device.

I know that they provide the possibility of instant "sharing" of music and as the Duracell commercial points out - give a girl your disc man when her batteries run out on that long band trip ... and she is yours. The anti-social part comes in when you're not one to strike up a conversation anyway .. and you end up being that creepy guy with the headphones on all the time.

Headphones and their ear-bud counterparts provide a wall of protection. They say, "Hey, I'm listening to something so don't bug me" ... besides I might be too scared to talk to you anyways. Please dear God, don't let them ask me what I'm listening to; because then I'll have to explain the whole Christian Music thing - DARN!! - I knew I should have brought something cool and introspective - like Simon and Garfunkl. Think .... THINK .... Does Rush have a keyboard player? ... it'll be to obvious if I open up with a comment about Neil Piert's drumming. All the while, Petra's Back to the Street is blaring though my head "It's just your Altar Ego .... And You Don't Even Know! ... And you won't ever grow, 'till His Spirit strikes a blow to Altar Ego".

As you can see, I wasn't always the social butterfly that I am today :-)

What got me thinking about walkmans was my walk into the building from the parking lot this morning. I was humming an old White Heart tune called "Desert Rose". It was a cool song, and as Mrs. Dash has heard a few times - I once created/coached a "human video" for a youth group that I helped out back in the days the butterfly thought he could fly on his own. While I was thinking about White Heart, I thought of a co-worker whose Aunt has recently suffered a heart attack. I said a quick prayer for her family and reflected that it was good that they are able to be with her at the end.

The night my mom died, we left grandma to stay with her and went home to get some sleep. It had been an exhausting several months and my trusty walkman had been a constant companion in more waiting rooms than I could count. Then again - I can count them ... and I can tell you where they are in the hospital ... and where the cafeteria was .... and the snack bar ... and the library .... and the chapel. I was getting ready for bed when the phone rang. After a few minutes, Dad came down the hall and told us that we were going back.

I remember getting ready to walk out the door and realizing that I didn't have my walkman. I had been spending most of the last few days listening to what I was convinced was the greatest tape of all time: White Heart's "FrEEdom". This was the last album before Chris, Tommy, and Gordon left to run their own studio and way before Tommy was backing up Bruce Springsteen on SNL. If you've never heard, you should try it.

When I stopped and ran back in the house for my walkman - not wanting to spend a night in the waiting room without songs like "Power Tools", "Bye Bye Babylon", and my personal favorite "Eighth Wonder"; Dad yelled at me that I didn't need my stupid walkman. In retrospect, he probably already knew that she had died. With that in mind, what I thought was a very insensitive comment at the time wasn't all that bad.

I don't think I used my walkman for quite a while after that.

Starlight Star Bright

Thanks to a magical fairy of the forrest, Mrs. Dash and I ended up at Starlight theater last Friday night. The first show of the season is a production featuring "64 of America's Favorite Disney Songs". The weather was great and the company was even better - even the drinks were free (thanks to a certain oversized-purse). Definitely my kind of night at the theater.

Mrs. Dash was especially happy to find that the women's restroom facilities have tripled in capacity. This meant that the regular show-goers looked pretty silly walking into the ladies room 4 at a time .... Since there were at least 10 open at the back. I'll take her word for it.

For those of you that weren't paying attention, this was a show of Disney songs ... Notice that I didn't say they were Disney characters, or even Disney stories - Just the songs. Basically the premise of the show was that a group of otherwise mute singers were in the studio to record the best Disney album ever. They of course enjoy it (and the live band on stage) so much that they dance and do a lot of choreography with the microphones and recording equipment .. And well anything else they can get there hands on. No talking, just former soap starts belting out the themes from Snow White to Toy Story 2.

As we sat down, Mrs. Dash found that her favorite Disney song, "Reflection" from Mulan would be a featured number. She however wasn't the only fan of a good Disney song attending the show.

My evening was shattered by an 8-year old girl. She was seated right behind me and had apparently been rehearsing for the show for most of her life. Keep in mind that I don't hear very well when I tell you that this little girl was LOUD and she knew most of the songs all the way up to intermission. At that point, one of the ladies with her remarked as the lights came up that, "wow - you know all of these - you'll be singing the whole rest of the show........" SHUDDDDERRRRRR!

Somehow she calmed down .... Mrs. Dash thinks my nonverbal must have been too "loud". So, aside from little orphan Annie (thank God the sun apparently will not come out tomorrow) the show was fun.

Singing in the Rain will probably figure into our anniversary plans ... They talk in that one don't they?

CPR Hurts

When the day is long and the night,
the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough
of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go,
'cause everybody cries
and everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong.
Now it's time to sing along ...

Yesterday, I attended a CPR class along with some of the Royal Rangers from our church. The class had one of those watch-the-video-then-practice formats. Several times throughout the afternoon, I was asked to kneel over 'Manny the Mannequin' to check for breathing and circulation while demonstrating rescue breathing and chest compressions. A full cycle of CPR is supposed to last about a minute; (we weren't near that fast) and we did an average of 4 cycles in each practice session.
The problem with this - and the reason I'm quoting REM lyrics - is that Commander Dash's knees are not what they used to be. I didn't have much problem yesterday, but I'm feeling it today and have been hobbling through the building between meetings. A co-worker even asked if I was "OK". When I told him that I had taken a CPR class yesterday, he seemed surprised that CPR was apparently now an Olympic contact sport.
What really scares me is that, based on EMT response times, emergency first responders average 30-45 minutes of CPR before help arrives. And if I am called upon to save some boy's life in the woods - there won't be any carpet to kneel on.
Maybe I should always hike in knee pads.

And One Time - At Band Camp .....

I've been trying to catch up on my blogging and had originally posted bits of this as a comment to Golden's review of Phantom of the Opera. Since she has at least 2 other posts up, it would have been unlikely that this would ever be read.
You are not that lucky.
When I was in high school band, phantom was the coolest thing there was. We would throw out bits of it during football games - not that it was in the playbook. The section leaders would write out contraband music sheets and pass them through the stands.
For example, when the opposing team would flub what looked to have been a good play, the trombones, tubas and assorted lower brass would stand up and play the beginning of the overture with a really bad honking noise at the end of the second phrase. Here is a textual rendition of what that sounded like. Remember that I'm a drummer - not a musician:
DAUMMMMMMMM ............. DAUM Da Daum bump DAUMMMMM .... DAUM Da Daum bump - Honk!.
It was funnier than you might think. Then again, I was in band.
Santa Clara Vanguard, a quasi-professional marching band, played Phantom for at least 2 seasons. Their on field show was majestic; to this day it remains the arrangement I hear in my head when I think of the Music of the Night - forget Michael Crawford!
The shows included magic tricks designed by David Copperfield like mirrors on either end of the field that the phantom would jump through and appear 100 yards away. The most amazing thing I ever saw on a football field was the entire band disappearing under a large flag bearing the now famous mask and a red rose. Three melodic percussionists played the remaining bars of the music box theme from the sidelines as the drum major pulled the tarp away and walked off the field.
The official score and arrangements for phantom proved to be too expensive for us to use my senior year - we played West Side Story instead.. snap ... snap