The Cave, Remember Your Failure At The Cave ....

The other night, Chan and I watched The Empire Strikes back on Blue Ray.  It was fun to see a movie that I can quote nearly word for word "differently" - specifically, this was the first time I got to see it in 1080p.  If you are not familiar, that's the magic number that translates into a picture so defined, you can see all the actor's blemishes rather than looking like animated action figures and the cardboard looking props for what they are ... not actual space metal.  I was noticing parts of Boba Fet's costume that I never saw before and sat in awe of how many actual stars were on screen at the end of the title crawl ... but it was The Cave on Dagobah that struck me the most.

This wasn't a special effects thing - I actually always thought the way Vader's mask "exploded" was cheesy.  What the Cave vision meant, and how I perceived it all those years ago is what got me thinking ... and blogging.

Conventional wisdom among Star Wars fans is that Luke's failure was that he chose to take his weapons into the cave after Yoda told him that he would not need them.  Essentially, that you are unable to fight fear - but must simply face it.  Since fear leads to the "Dark Side", a Jedi should avoid letting it lead him to Anger .. Hate ... Suffering etc.

When I saw 'Empire' at the Bowman Twin theater in Tulsa Oklahoma in 1980 I had a completely different understanding of the scene..  To me, it was the lesson that Luke was essentially fighting himself.  As a kid trying to grow up (and maybe fly a space ship with a light-saber hanging from my belt), this was my fight - a fight to be more than I was.[note:  I was later convinced that Luke was somehow his own father .. or his father's twin .. but hey, I was 7].

The other night though, in full 1080p, I remembered the old me - the one fighting myself to grow up. For the most part I've been successful; I'm relatively mature when it comes to most things in life ... and I have a much more thoughtful approach to fan theories about movie plot twists.  Still, I often find myself facing off against the dark me in the cave.  "This becoming is harder than it seems."

Back in May (on Star Wars Day) I wrote a FB post that referenced 1 John 4 as what should be the rest of Yoda's teaching on Fear (the enemy that is cast out by Love).  When I've missed the mark in life it's nearly always been because of Fear - or the sort of backwards self-love (selfishness) that I should have outgrown years ago.  I'm finding it takes the sort of trust necessary to leave your light-saber and blaster outside when heading into a scary place.

Top 25 TV Shows

According to Entertainment Weekly, the following are the top 25 television shows of the past 25 years. Since I was at least 10 when each of these came out, I decided to review the list and share some of my reactive thoughts with you.

If this is too much content for you to read at once .... click over to my face book page and check out the virtual bowling scores.

#25 - Miami Vice: Loved it, Loved it, Loved it!!!! I had the chance to watch the original 2 hour premiere a couple of weeks ago on hulu (now featuring 44 episodes) and was surprised to see Jimmy Smits gunned down in the first 5 minutes. Cockett and Tubbs were cool, but for me it was all about Edward James Olmos. Somewhere there is a picture of me in a Don Johnson suit (with the sunglasses).

#24 - Star Trek The Next Generation: If you back me into a corner and threaten me with Vogonic poetry, I'll admit that I prefer Trek to Star Wars, and this is the TV show the did it for me. Last night I saw the 2 part episode where the crew finds Data's head buried under San Francisco. It's quite possible that Patrick Stewart is real reason I love 'A Christmas Carol' so Much. Sadly none of the Trek titles are available on hulu just yet.

#23 - The West Wing: I often said during the 7 years of Bartlett's Administration, that I would be willing to give up all other TV if West Wing would grow to 2 hrs per week. They never made that change ... and yes, got more sentimental in seasons 5 & 6; but this is still the 2nd best TV show ever. Ironically, Jimmy Smitz played a big part in the last 2 seasons and Edward James Olmos was a guest star in the first episode. (hulu not available)

#22 - The Real World: Never saw it, though I will confess to 5 faithful seasons of Big Brother. (hulu not available)

#21 - Roseanne: Only two good things can be said about the show .... (1) John Goodman and (2) it ended with the real Becky. Thankfully, shows like Everybody Loves Raymond came along to fill the niche. As it was, there was a gaping sincerity hole anytime Roseanne tried to be anything but rude. (hulu not available)

#20 - 90210: I never watched the show until the last 2 seasons, but what I saw was enough to make me whish that we had the CW on our DISH package to see the new series this fall. I'd love to see what Brenda, Kelly, David, and Donna and gang are doing now ..... it sounds like most of them are working in the school now. I wonder if they still cut class to go to the beach? (hulu not available)

#19 - er: I saw the other night, that this will be the last season of er. To me it all ended the night that Mark Green died on that beach in Hawaii ... though I did manage to catch Romano being dismembered then subsequently killed by a series of helicopters. Another more sympathetic end came to Kelley, when she self-diagnosed her Pulmonary Embolism and then died following the season finale stabbing she and Carter seemingly survived. (1 episode from season 14 available on hulu).

#18 - American Idol: T set an effective trap by having me watch one of David Cook's performances early on this season ... and I was hooked. I do solemnly swear to not watch next season. (hulu thankfully not available)

#17 - The Office: Definitely in my personal top 5, I have a secret dream to be Toby .... I've been rather wondering about my vicarious existence with him leaving the show. I hope he comes back over that fence and brings 'Carol' from the West Wing back into well written television. I think she would be a great management development trainer. (15 Glorious Episodes Available on Hulu)

#16 - Arrested Development: Never saw it .... this was on back when I only watched fox for the the Simpsons and occasional STNG reruns. Apparently it was unwatched by nearly everyone else as well. All 53 Episodes are available for viewing on Hulu - guess the DVD sales aren't moving as fast as they'd hoped.

#15 - The Oprah Winfrey Show: I watch Oprah in 30 second intervals when flipping through channels. Every time I think she might have an interesting guest - turns out that I'm wrong. An interesting side note - every Discovery Ranger that I've ever taught the Book of Ruth Bible merit insists on calling Naomi's other daughter-in-law Oprah rather than 'Orpha', so Mz Winfrey has definitely impacted our culture - if not my personal viewing habits. (HARPO productions has not seen fit to release The Big O' on Hulu).

#14 - The Daily Show: I'm not ashamed to admit that this is my "11:00 news". Of course, my local news affiliates lead with stories about neighborhood association disputes. I was a fan back in the Craig Kilborn days, but the current format (and Colbert Report spin off) are a welcome late night treat surpassing even the great David Letterman. (9 recent episodes and a variety of clips are available on hulu)

#13 - Freaks and Geeks: Never Seen it ... Not on Hulu .... will continue to languish in obscurity.

#12 - South Park: Very Funny Show - though often too crude to maintain the smiles. I always got a laugh at the 'South Park Elementary School' back in the KC area. I'd like to think that the little tikes wouldn't get called to the principle for wearing a mister hanky shirt .... when by some stretch of the imagination, he is their school mascot. (hulu not available)

#11 - The Wire: I'm not cool enough to have HBO, so this one is unknown to me ... though 2 previously Showtime only titles ('Breaking Bad' & 'Dexter') are finding their way to regular cable; maybe I'll be able to catch up some day. (hulu not available)

#10 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Having enjoyed Charmed, Forever Knight, and 90210 ... I'm not sure why this one never made it into my appointment television schedule. Maybe if I'd had a DVR, it might have stood a chance. (34 episodes available in hulu)

#9 - Friends: Far and away the best sitcom ever ... yes even better than Seinfeld and Must See TV 3rd runner up Caroline in the City. In my yet young adult life, I have been Chandler, I have been Ross ... though never Joey (who's' TV show sucked so bad, we didn't make it to episode 2). though the show was on many levels all about Ross and Rachel. For T and it will always be Chandler loves Monica.

#8 - Lost: If Bradley Whitford and West Wing is #2, then Michael Emmerson and Lost take the top spot. Only 30-something hours left to go ... and I have to say, I'm glad that it is being so well planned out and executed. There is no fear of jumping the shark ... ... except for the whole nicky and paulo fiasco that they purged nicely. BTW, if you haven't wiki'd Jeremy Bentham yet ... you should. (hulu not available .. but you can watch full episodes that haven't been released on DVD at abc.com)

#7 - The Cosby Show: If I could have lived the life of Cliff Huxtable (minus all those years on medical school) I just might have done so. I especially enjoy his sweaters .... come to think of it, that's not something I should admit in blogland .. oh well. Be sure to check out Malcom's current dramatic chops in "Fools Gold". (hulu not available ... really I checked twice!!)

#6 - Survivor: Season 14 "Fiji" picks challenge grand champion - 'nuff said. (hulu not available - but watch online at CBS.com)

#5 - Sex And the City: Another HBO drama transplanted into regular viewing. I've seen a few, but haven't caught the bug. (hulu not available - but I heard there was a movie :-) ...)

#4 - The X-Files: I managed to catch a few episodes back in my low-tolerance-for-Fox days - including the incredibly creepy one with the "mom" under the bed. ewww ewww ewww.
(hulu not available).

#3 - Seinfeld: I've already listed this as must see TV and I can't count the number of phrases it has injected into our lives: Festivus Miracles, The Bro, Contests, Wedding Envelopes, No Soup for You ... yadda yadda yadda, I was in the pool. (hulu not available .... but pick up a remote, flip 15 times and you'll be catch at least 2 episodes.)

#2 - The Sopranos: I know, I know - I need to see this. (hulu not available ... someone should get whacked for that)

#1 - The Simpsons: I'll leave the philosophical evaluation of the show to BB, but I will always reminisce about the elementary talent show where Homer asked, "ohhh...how many grades does this school have?!?!? .... and how Santa's Little Helper came to live with the family after a dog track Christmas miracle. yes, I'll remember it all - along with the Simpson's Themed Bathroom I had ... complete with transparent shower curtain.......shuddddder...... (Only 5 of the newest episodes are available on hulu.) you'll have to see BB for the rest.

The Hard Way

... sorry for not following up on my promise to deliver another Holiday Movie blog. After about 2 hours of re-writing, I determined that it was neither funny-haha nor funny-ironic ... so I filed it under funny-deleted. I'll press on anyway and get a post in before David Letterman shaves his beard .. or at least before all the snow melts off the brick that Prometheus lit his fire on (see my previous post).

I stayed up way to late last night to watch "The Order" staring Heath Ledger. I'd previously seen the last half of the movie and mistakenly called it "The Sin Eater" when discussing it at Homers; so when I got a chance to see the whole thing, I jumped at the chance. Ok, actually I just sat there and didn't jump up to do anything else or go to bed until after 4am.

The basic premise of the film (spoiler alert) is that there is now and throughout history have been individuals called "sin-eaters" that are able to consume the transgressions of others and take it on themselves - allowing the dying sinner a chance to enter the afterlife without all those chains and cash boxes we all saw Marley and his pals lugging around this past month. As you can imagine, this makes that sin-eater rather popular with big mean nasty people that are near the end of life. On the other hand, the church (Catholic that is) is really bent out of shape over all these previously excommunicated souls getting a free pass through the pearly gates.

Ledger's character (a conflicted / lusting priest) is recruited by William Eden to take over as the rouge absolutionist. In the process he gets the girl, loses the girl, eats the sin of the girl, gets really pissed off over the girl's death ... yada yada yada - he's the new sin-eater.

...

I also saw Dracula 2000 recently (though not so late at night). In this Wes Craven film we learn that our good friend Vlad the Impaler is none other than Judas himself with a big guilt/self-loathing complex over his betrayal of Christ. It was pretty well done .... and a tidy way to explain the significance of why crosses and silver (i.e. the 30 pieces) really get under his skin. In the end Judas/Dracula does not get the girl but is allowed to successfully hang himself this time after making peace with a large street-evangelism poster board Jesus during MardiGra.

What struck me this evening, as I was reading catching up in my daily devotional readings, was that in both cases these fantastical characters have been created as a way to meet a need that doesn't actually exist. Both Wes Craven's Judas and the clients of the Sin-Eater are trying to get right with a God that is against them. They seem to think that He is literally Hell bent on sending them the way of Buffy's Boyfriends rather than a merciful creator that desires renewed relationship with all his children, no matter what.

There is no need for an "other" way to salvation - by demonic ritual or suicide or anything else. Still it seems part of our nature to be convinced that God is making it hard for us - maybe that's just easier than letting him change who we are.

Opening Credits

As I was driving home on Friday, I heard a traffic report from our local traffic-chopper-guy noting that a Christmas tree was causing a good deal of trouble on Interstate 35 here in KC. I chuckled at this because (1) its pretty late in the January to still be getting rid of the holiday decorations and (2) the weather we've been having made me imagine several cars swerving and honking over Perry Como singing "Winter Wonderland".

In my mind, this last bit looked like the opening sequence of a movie during the executive producer and casting credits. The only question at that point was what kind of movie it was. Since holiday movies are a hobby of mine, I decided that this particular opening could be the start of several different films.

Romantic Comedy
=============
This is the story of Person #1 ... (a dog lover who loves Christmas but is slightly stressed over the demands of the holidays). Person #1 loses the tree on her way home from volunteering because a mischevious santa-like tree salesman only tied it down well enough to make it to their appointment with destiny - a.k.a Person #2 ... (who we will find is a slightly bitter 30-something professional with a overly developed sense of humbug). The goood news is that Mr humbug once had a Christmas-puppy, so after a few snow-dusted dates ... and a misunderstanding about a Person #1's possible x-lover that turns out to be a sibling (or gay friend) ... the happy couple can find joy - and love together.


Lifetime Drama
===============
When Meredith Baxter Birney hits a Christmas tree while swerving to avoid an acident, it's just the begining of a terrible day. Not only does she have tinsel on her bumper ... she has egg on her face. Her husband (Judge Reinhold) can be seen from the road kissing his secretary/business partner/student/half-sister and it just gets messy from there. Lot's of Christmas decorations get smashed and or burned (along with some golf clubs). Still there is reason to celebrate when Meredith and her adult daughter, Melissa Gilbert, are able to agree (while volunteering), that all men are pigs ..... except Bruce Boxleitner.

Science Fiction
===============
When Jeff Goldblum volunteers to drives his Mom's free-range Christmas tree to the local conservation pond to be used as part of a fish habitat, he swerves to miss a strangely limping park ranger dragging a deer accross the road. When the tree lands on the ranger, Jeff hops out to assist, but finds a green glow in the dead man's eyes (and some human bite-marks on the deer). It turns out that ranger was dead .... sort of .... but walking around under the power of an alien force. The incecticide-free evergreen needles seemed to have reversed the effect .... so Jeff works with NASA, The Teamsters, and The Forrest service to kick some alien butt.

Action Thriller
=============
Volunteer department store Santa Ben Affleck/Bruce Willis (depending on the decade) ..... santa suits ..... high-speed chases ..... lots of bullets ..... terrorist threat .... non-plot-related slutty stewardess/waitress/nurse ... and lots of Jerry Bruckheimer explosions. Oh, yeah .... and a tree.


Horror
=============
About 10 years ago, Tommy got attacked by a creep in a Santa suit while he was volunteering at the local Christmas tree lot. Now, after running into a gigantic tree on his way home from graduate school, Tommy is freaking out because cheerleaders, little kids, and old ladies (but mostly cheerleaders) are getting the plum pudding beat out of them and have been found all over town with a stake of holly shoved through their heart. Big shocker ... Tommy's the one that should be on the naughty list ... and as he slowly figures it out, it dosen't look too good for Suzy his ex-cheerleader high school girlfriend. Still she manages to push him off a cliff in the end ... impaling him on an evergreen branch.


Family Drama
=============
New Year's Eve: The tree falling off the back of the rusty pickup prompts a well dressed man - with red hair and glasses - to pull the tree out of the road. As he does, he notices a letter to Santa rolled up in the branches. ........

Flash Back - Christmas Eve: Daddy is out of work, so the scraggly tree we see him bring home from the lot (after volunteering) is the last reject that nobody wanted. Still, we know that this is a special tree because Timmy/Sarah (the sick but wise 9-year old red-head) decorates it while the rest of the family is carroling. He/She would have loved to be singing with the family but is still trying to brighten their spirits for what may be their last Christmas together. We get to see the note to Santa slipped into the tree just before the family returns. Timmy/Sarah takes a turn for the worse on Christmas morning and the gifts stay wrapped. The week is filled with tears and visits from friends, neighbors, and the crochety land-lord (who threatens to evict the family on new year's day if the rent isn't paid).

As the new year approaches, dad goes into a gentle rage and rips all the decorations down and drives them to the dump, he doesn't seem to notice that the tree has fallen out of the truck - or the owner of the sleek Jaguar that pulls over to move it. Now that we are full circle, we can learn that glasses-guy is dad's estranged brother driving through town after years in the Peace Corp (apparently making lots of money) He's a doctor and knows just how to get Timmy/Sarah well. Its a good thing that the return address was on Santa's letter - or he might never of found his childhood home .... or been able to buy it from the land-lord.


....did I leave any genre of holiday movie out?

GasWorks

Wayne's World - Scene 4
*********************************************
==== Wayne and Garth approach Tiny the Bouncer ====

Wayne: Hey, Tiny, who's playing tonight?
Tiny: Jolly Green Giants, Sh**y Beatles.
Wayne: The Sh**y Beatles? Are they any good?
Tiny: They suck.
Wayne: Then it's not just a clever name? Who else?
Tiny: Crucial Taunt, just finishing.
Wayne: I hear they can wail.
Tiny: You're right.
Wayne: Party on.
Tiny: Party on.

==== Wayne and Garth Walking Down the Stairs into the Club ====

Wayne: This is the Gasworks, an excellent heavy metal bar. - Always a babefest.
Garth: And they got a pool table, too.

*********************************************

It's been 14 years since Garth said those magic words .. and now (thanks to Forrest and Vernal), it can also be said about the home of Mr. T and Mrs. Dash.

It took about 2 and 1/2 hours to assemble but that was the easy part - Forrest and Russian Teacher did all the heavy lifting getting it into the garage - a.k.a the "game room". T takes the kudos for winning the first game of 8 ball game - I won the first 9 ball game .... and C-man gets the prize for figuring out what those extra screws were for.

We debated about wether to recover the table, but .... since Watson's was closed and we really wanted to play ..... decided to stretch the existing felt into place. It all went together well - and hey, no quarters!

We'll probably still get a couple more cue-sticks (and I'd like to get a 9-ball rack for Christmas - hint hint) but we are set up and ready to go!!!

Rack'em Up and Party On!

Run Kate - Run!!!!

Spoiler Alert!!! For those of you that haven't seen last night's LOST - stop reading now.

===============================================================

I'll just type a bit more here to make sure Mr. Gourd-Man doesn't spoil his own LOST experience. I added this paragraph because I realized that I really shouldn't mention the death of a major character within 1 inch of my spoiler alert ... the eyes do wander ya' know. I really mean it this time. Stop reading now to prevent finding something out.....

You're still reading aren't you ? .... ok - I warned you.

I was really disappointed when Mr. Ecko died last week. In fact, I even held out a little bit of hope that he would survive - if only Jack could have been there to beat on his chest and cry (it's always worked before). More than just missing one of the most original characters on TV, I'm going to miss my own internal conflict over Ecko's faith. The LOST writers did a really good job presenting us someone that truly believes they are living in grace and mercy. This is unusual since most tv 'christians' are either works-based-save-yourselves ... or truly evil individuals that are hiding behind redemption as a way to save themselves.

Ecko seems to have been one of the few that knows he can't save himself and that nothing he can do will be enough - still he humbly does right. At this point in my post, it's becoming apparent that I've been studying the book of James. When I mention my internal conflict .... I'm referencing the fact that Ecko's faith is different from mine. For a tribal over-lord he does seem to have a rather commanding grasp of scripture (though his interpretation is far from evangelical). Did he hide all that Word in his heart while briefly taking Yemi's place - or is it the remnant of his childhood Saharan JBQ league matches?

Ecko's conversation about confession and forgiveness with the Smoke Monster / Yemi during last weeks episode seems to mirror the last few seconds of the min-season finale. Jack yelling at Kate that she has about an hour to run ..... and kate weeping because she knows there is nowhere to run to. Still Ecko turns against his faith and claims to have nothing to confess. In his dying moments he reached out and grabbed onto works in defiance.

Rest well Ecko - if you can.

These Next Two Weeks Will Be Unpleasant

Not trying to vent too much here .... but I worked hard through the late spring .... and all through summer to get caught up on not one - but two seasons of LOST. I finally made it (all the while keeping an occasional eye on the various web theories) to the premier of Season Three ...... and nobody posts about it ????~!!!!!!~??????

Ben will be very disapointed in you
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I'm So Glad I Still Have A VHS Player!!!!

According to Entertainment Weekly, the following is a listing of 10 must see (again) movies for the summer:

1979 - Meatballs
1987 - Dirty Dancing
1983 - Sleepaway Camp
1993 - The Sandlot
1986 - SpaceCamp
1987 - Summer School
1985 - Summer Rental
1977 - Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown
1983 - National Lampoon's Cavation
2001 - Wet Hot American Summer

... any others you think should be added to the list?

The Cutting Edge of Romantic Comedy

... and no I'm not talking about 'The Breakup'.

One of the first Romantic Comedies I ever really connected with was 'The Cutting Edge' (1992) starring Moira Kelly and D.B. Sweeny. The film follows the quirky love/hate relationship of a washed out hockey player and a ice-princess individual figure skater that team up (reluctantly) as part of the pairs figure skating competition in the 1988 winter games. The 'edge' was played almost continuously in the room we ate lunch at in college. Consequently, I know most every line and have gained nearly all of my Olympic Ice Skating knowledge from the lives of Doug Dorsey and Kate Moesely. For example, I know that the apparently simple, yet important ability to "toe-pick" is the biggest obstacle in teaching a hockey player how to artistically interpret classical music on ice.

Imagine my surprise when T told me that "The Cutting Edge 2: Going for the Gold" (2006) was playing on USA! I gathered up a snack and green tea and settled in as the opening credit showed a lone figure skater performing at a regional championship with (nearly) flawless precision ... until she falls dramatically when attempting a jump...... At first I was frustrated that someone could just remake such a classic movie (ala Damien, and Psycho) without attempting to do anything different other than sticking a "2" at the end of the title.

But first impressions can be deceiving.

The lone skater from the opening wasn't important ... in fact we never see her again. She was followed by a somewhat familiar looking gal named Jackie Dorsey .... Dorsey ... Dorsey - OMG it's their daughter!!!! I'm officially old if 2 twenty somethings that I knew from college have a daughter old enough to be a twenty-something. Granted, Jackie would have likely been born around 1989 ... but still, fourteen years separate the 2 movies.

It was good little flick, worth renting, queuing, on-demand-ing or just watching on cable. I won't give away what happens - but it's no surprise that there will be skating.

-----------------

Note: This post in no way represents any interest that I do or do not have with real ice skating. While I fully recognize figure skating as a competitive and demanding sport, I'm still not willing to watch it when it doesn't come with witty discussions about how much they can't stand (or stand to be away from) each other. Also, every jump must be a triple-axle ... and is only exciting if your leg (or heart) has recently been broken.

... and then we went to Denny's (# 100)

Tonight .. errrrrr ... last night ... errrrrr this morning we went to see M.I.3 and RV down at the Boulevard Drive in. We got there early (6:45) because we were sure that everyone would be coming out to see the new movie - we were wrong. After sitting in the empty parking lot for a few minutes, the ticket lady showed up - we paid even though she didn't ask us too. Call us old fashion I guess.

T found a "great, fun game" for us to play called Bunco - It was fun ... and I'll leave it up to you to discover all the sensational fun of this game. I don't think I'm giving too much away when I mention that it comes in a barbie-pink box and includes giant fuzzy dice. If you've ever played Bunco, think of how much fun it would be to play it in a nearly empty parking lot with with a color-blind-dad-to-be that completely missed the barbie-pinkness of the game - but still won.

The movies were good. M.I.3 was predictable yet worth the ride and RV was unexpectedy good - and good for the whole family. That is - if your family is ok with turd jokes and Kristen Chenoweth all but falling out of her top for most of the film. I'll never listen to her Gospel album in quite the same way.

After saying goodnight to the plethora of OPAG folks that showed up at the drive-in ... we got the ol' minivan about halfway home before we all realized we were hungry. I think this is the first time the kids had ever been to a resturaunt after 10 pm. They seemed to enjoy it at first as we told them about how we used to do this sort of thing before they were born .... but by the time we all started yawning (and noticing the type of clientel Denny's has at 1 in the morning) we were happy to be on our way all too soon.

On the good side though, maybe the kids will sleep in tomorrow.

Starting Points (# 94)

In the movie 'You've Got Mail', Joe Fox (played by Tom Hanks) states that 'The Godfather' is the sum of all wisdom and that everything you need to know can be found within it's numerous quotes: i.e. "go to the mattresses", "leave the gun, take the canolli", "it's not personal, it's business" etc.) I'm often impressed how a good line, whether on the screen or the stage - or the disc for that matter, has a way of working it's way into our lives until it becomes a way of communicating so much more than just the words .. the whole weight of or shared experiences can be delivered in a line as simple as "be excellent to each other - and party on dudes" or as profound as "you had me at hello" or as eternal as "live long and prosper".

Having said all that, I'm reminded this weekend of another source of great lines: Fiddler on the Roof. Not only is it my favorite of all musicals; it has become my Godfather of quotes. I always wanted to play Tevya - and should the need arise, I have the better portion of his lines memorized from the MGM movie starring Topol. In one of his monologues, Tevya is responding to the news that Tzeitel and Motel have 'engaged' themselves to be married ("they gave each other a pledge...unthinkable").

But this isn't a post about quotes - it's about starting points. Tevya goes on to say / sing "One little time you pull out a prop, and where does it stop? where does it stop". These are the words that rang in my head as I contemplated my the connections between the book I'm reading (The Intuitionist) and the 6 hour mini series of Dune that I rented this weekend. In both of these alternate realities, the author has taken a single rather obscure item and turned the universe askew just a bit.

In the Intuitionist, which I rambled quite enough about on Thursday, the starting point was the ubiquitous elevator. What would happen if the science of "vertical transport" [making elevators go up and down] were incredibly significant to our culture and not an assumed backwater engineering subset? What if every bright little boy and girl dreamed of growing up to be a member of the elevator inspector guild? What if those that could sense the health of an elevator (the Intuitionists) were locked in a political power struggle with the hard-nosed Empiricists that relied on mechanical measurements and visual inspections ..... but I digress....

The starting point in Dune is the assumption that the excrement of giant sand worms is a visionary drug that enables interstellar space navigation. Because this was a miniseries, we are able to spend more time with the Warring political factions that made up the galaxy. In particular, the spacing guild and the hyper-conservationists of a desert world - the Fremen. I so enjoy experiencing another world with a slight little change and all the ripples that radiate out from the point of impact. Each player in the world must walk among he ensuing waves as they meet with normal struggles like falling in love and facing our fears.

Or as Tevya would say it: Tradition!

The Dead Blue Bottle

I had one of those Google-whims a few moments ago that inspire a quick search for something that floated across my consciousness. Forrest, BB, and others have given me a bit of a hard time over my critique of the Dead Blue Bottle that was missing in the recent Narnia movie. I wondered if I there might be other fans that had missed it and were beginning a groundswell of support to have it added in the special edition ala Greedo's blaster.

I was not the only person to notice that the bottle was missing from the window sill. In fact several other kindred spirits remarked that they had been looking forward to it. Granted none of them seemed to rant quite as much as I did about the apparently wasted money and time spent on the pointlessly stupid dying fly.

But then I scrolled further down through the results...... In the middle of a discussion group on how to store unsorted screws, bolts, and useless work-bench collections I saw it and laughed.

While writing about a particularly good way of sorting his wing nuts into various sizes of paint cans, one contributor mentioned that his workbench storage solutions also tended to collect dead blue bottle flies.

Another quick Google got me this picture.

I feel so silly to have gotten something so wrong for so long. I still think it would be better if it had looked like this.

Night of the Creeps

Well .. my disdain for my college poetry (and human decency) has prompted me to move on from my last topic. Sorry to be so long between posts, but I think a little bit of waiting will end up being better than reading more about my wounded inner child. Ironically, it was another sort of college poetry that inspired today's post - the kind written on bathroom walls.

In 'Night of the Creeps' (a horribly funny college zombie flick from 1986), the movie's only tragic death takes place in the campus medical center bathroom. The witty sidekick finds himself alone with the body of the night janitor who's head has exploded releasing little slug-aliens that are now scurrying across the floor.

The side-kick, who walks with the aid of crutches, knows he can't outrun the aliens; so he faces his death with a valiant fight and learns that the little monsters can be killed with fire. Sadly, there aren't enough matches .. so he ends up with a slug down his throat. As the parasite takes over his nervous system he finds that he is able to walk on his own. Although he knows he is dying - and must find a way to keep the slugs from reproducing in his now decomposing brain - he triumphantly kills the remaining slugs in the bathroom and runs off to warn the hero.

On the bathroom wall for the entire scene: Stryper Rules

Top 10 Recent Train Wrecks

10. Survivor Seasons that contain tears over a dead sea-turtle

9. Trivial Pursuit - 90's Time Capsule Edition

8. "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" - Staring George Lazenby as James Bond .... George Who???

7. Job Interviews in which you are told you are the top candidate

6. Any Lifetime Movie (ever) i.e. "Who Stole My Daughter"

5. Any Steven Segal i.e. "Under Siege"

4. Half-day recognition meetings" ... If I say that I do, in fact, recognize who you are ... can I go home now?

3. Meetings that start with, "We've been reviewing some participant survey data ...."

2. "The Perfect Man" .... or anytime Hilary Duff and Heather Locklear are in the same movie.

1. Mentally connecting Charlies Angels and Touched By an Angel

Cop Shows

N commented tonight that T & I seem to, "watch a lot of FBI/police shows". My knee-jerk reaction to this was that I don't really and that I'm a moderate TV viewer with discriminating and eclectic tastes.

This is not exactly true.

Even though this is a blog and inherantly the place to list in excruciating detail all the stuff I watch, I realize that I have "readers" and that might not be the best use of their time. I'll just sum it up and say that if Jerry Bruckhimer and Dick Wolf ever go out of business, I'll have enough time to complete that analysis of everything that Q ever said to Picard ... or was it everything that Q said to M .... or 7 (no leading zeros)?

I'm having one of those convergent influence days. Between N asking me about my TV viewing, T pointing out just how long the new curtain rod for the family room had been hiding behing the door, C telling me he is going to skip legos tomorrow so he can read the Bible like they talked about in Children's Church, Mr.s P-dougeee showing an endearing video about a bible study, and Phil mentioning the emminent 90-day read through the Bible thing; I thinking about a devotion.
Oh yeah; did I mention that I was one of the guys in Sunday school that was talking about the muslim view of the Koran as being equivelant with the virgin birth? It's sad to realize that if I was a muslim, I'd be a very bad one. Not in doctrine but in the simple acts of faith and devotion that they do for a false god. And every one of them is something I'm called to do in my own relationship with the True Way.

The 5 Pillars of Islam are The Profession Of Faith, Prayer, Fasting, Charity, and Pilgrimage. I'd rate myself as follows on a scale of 1-5 ... 1 being the more devout end of the spectrum:

Profession Of Faith (2) I do ok here, but sometimes I wonder how much of it is cultural. I've never been a Jesus Fish kind of Christian; but I don't let my faith be part of what immediatley defines me to new people I meet. I understand how many in the "Hi - I'm a Born Again Christian, Are You?" camp have alienated some, but can I honestly say that's a good enough excuse? I'm pretty sure that if I had an "are you a Christian?" moment like the apochraphyl comlumbine This Was Her Time story, I'd pass the test. But should I really have to have a gun to my head to declare my faith?

Prayer (3) Not counting meals and the automobile mishaps, I have a reactive prayer life. What I mean by this is that I wait for a reason to pray .. or some other external prompting before I seek God. I'm probably closer to a "2" right now since I'm interviewing with another company and considering a job change - but I don't have any kind of DVR-like schedule that says at X o'clock I'm going to spend time with my God.

Fasting (4) As evidenced by the stuff that does fill my time (not just the momentary self-rant on my TV viewing) , I don't seem to deny myself very often. This relates to the pilgrimage topic in that because I don't get the denying part done, I've not been very successfull in taking up many crosses.

Charity (5) I'm probably one of the most selfish people I know. The people at work think I give to my Church, so that's why I don't do much for the fundraisers. I wonder if the people at church think the opposite. T pointed out when I was commenting on how pathetic our end of year giving report from the church was that we are much more likely to give to individuals that need help (and un-traceable cash in the offering bag) but I know I should be doing more. Not to meet some sort of quota - or to earn some sort of blessing allowance - just because it's one way I can express that I trust God and that he has belessed me more richly than I deserve.

Pilgrimage (?) I'm still up in the air on this one. I interpret it as selfless service. What is grey for me is that I'm not sure how much of the "ministry" I do is compelled by calling and how much is just a way to do what I enjoy and feel good about it so I can justify my selfishness.

Anyway, I'm sorry for such a long-winded blog. I'm sure I needed to write it more than say it to others. In fact it feels very much like the Post-Secret blog where people send postcards with their deepest secrets to some guy with a web site and a book to write. This is not the posting of a deviant, but I will consider my tail to have been kicked. Hope I feel the pain in my rump for a while and that it makes a difference.

Mrs. Beaver's Sewing Machine & A Dead Blue Bottle

I saw the Narnia movie tonight and have to say, it was better than I expected. I actually enjoyed how the filmmakers were able to portray the emotions and motivations of the children. This was something that Lewis stayed away from (at least in the Wardrobe). Later on, he does quite a bit more exposition on how characters like Eaustace feel and what drives them to make the choices they encounter.

Some of the settings were wrong (i.e. the very hobbit-ish hollow they hide in from Father Christmas instead of the nice cozy cave that Mr. Beaver takes them too). Some of the scenes seem to have been made for the video game (frozen river fight with the wolves) And worst of all, some of the characters were more than they should have been (the gallant fox that should have quietly been turned to stone at the Christmas Party) ... or Tummnus's "I believe in a Free Narnia" gagg...cough cough).

I mention these nitpicks not to make less of the movie, but to recognize that as we've seen many times before - sometimes you have to put stuff in to get an audience to the place you need them to be in the story. I don't mind that so much .... I rather enjoyed the battles and all the animals treating the children like royalty. What bothers me though is the stuff that was left out that could have been dropped in for the book fans - and this finally brings me to the title of the blog.

One of the things that makes the visit from Father Christmas so special (who didn't wear red though Susan said he did) was that he mentions leaving presents back at the dam including a new sewing machine for Mrs. Beaver. Even if the screen writer picked the throw-away line about having a hundred years to catch up on over talking to the beavers, we could have seen a sewing machine sitting in the sleigh. This type of little something extra was part of what made the LOTR rings movies so much fun to watch even when they story got mixed up a bit.

Since the Wardrobe was the first fantasy story I ever read, it still has a special place in my heart. As an adult though, I find it my least favorite of the Chronicles. What I still hold on to are those images. Many of them, like the way the coats gave way to branches and moth balls to crunching snow were wonderfully included. Others, like the "dead blue bottle" sitting on the window sill in the wardrobe room would have literally cost $5. I'm sad to have it missing ... especially when the death of CGI fly that probably cost more than my annual salary took it's place.

Sequals

Over the last few years, I've noticed an increase in the number of sappy romantic Christmas stories. Channels like ABC Family and the Hallmark Channel seems to crank them out at an alarming speed. Like any entertainment fad, these types of shows just snowball long past their popularity and end up "jumping the shark" in all the little predictable cliche's.

#1 - single parent that "lost" a spouse on or near Christmas 5,10, or 15 years ago.
#2 - Socially mal-adjusted 11 year old with an overactive belief or dis-belief in Santa or
#3 - Single Parent from #1 had a bad holiday experience i.e. loss of a parent or puppy
#4 - A dreamed of, but never recived Christmas gift.
#5 - Some Dumb-@$$ jerk that thinks the season is all about commercialization or manipulated relationships. - note: sometimes this is also the parent in #3 or the ex-spouse.

Throw in a little ice skating and Christmas Tree buying .... a big moon and some sleighbells ... and there you go! This year I've managed to watch two sequals to these type of films:

"A Christmas Blessing" where we see Niel Patrick Harris (aka Doogie Howser) as the grown up little boy from the Chritmas shoes song/movie. Don't worry, Rob Lowe made it into this one too - even if his hair was a little grey. This time Doogie's girlfriend got the shoes ... and a little boy dies **sniff**.

"Meet the Santas" is the predictable followup to last years "Single Santa, Seeks Mrs. Claus". Steve Gutenburg reprises his role as Santa Jr. and the gal from Wings rounds out the hilarious story of their first Christmas in charge at the pole.

I wonder when the prequels will start coming out? Will we ever see how Grandpa met Grandma all those years before she got ran over by a reindeer? Might we be priveledged enough to see how Rudolph's parents met? And I'm quite sure there is a classic dessert race story somewhere in the past of that dancing camel in the little drummer boy.

Your Daily Dose

The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but circumscribed. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.

Tom 'n' Meg

To get the full measure of romantic comedies, one only has to watch the "Tom & Meg Trilogy" (1. Joe vs. The Volcano 2. Sleepless in Seattle 3. You've Got Mail)

'Sleepless' and 'Mail' seem to get all the credit nowadays, but I think it's important that we not overlook "Joe". Though often bashed as the low point of Hanks carrer, the Joe Banks character is a timeless image of a man searching for meaning in his life ... now this is a romantic comedy, so of course he finds meaning by falling in love with Meg Ryan.

Iteresting (to me at least) is that Hanks' character in 'Mail" is also named Joe ..... to bad he was a Sam in 'Sleepless'. Both charachters go through similar transitions - though not as colorful. Joe Fox (F-O-X) finds that he can love someone that trully iritates him enough to chase her. Sam Baldwin on the other hand, finds that he can love again.

I have much more to say about Volcano than Sleepless or Mail - but maybe that's just me trying to stand up for the underdog. How terrible would it be to work for a company that makes plastic replacement testicles - then again, I work in collections.

Thoughout the movie,the viewer is skillfully moved along a carefully crafted color experience like black sludge-like coffee vs. orange soda and blue rain colored streets vs. red lava capped volcanoes. One of the most striking scenes in the movie, shows a pre-Castaway Hanks stranded on a raft in the ocean. Cold and thirsty, he awakens in the middle of the night to see a gigantic moon filling the horizon. This real lunar light is contrasted with the fake fluorecents in his dead-end job. He cries out, "Oh God - I forgot how BIG you are.

I laugh anytime Hanks says the word ... BIG, or Buddies, or Castaway, or Splash, or Benjamin, or Apollo ... well you get the picture - I laugh at Hanks a lot.

Popeye

I had pasta with spinach for lunch today. Not usually a cooked spinach fan, I was a first a bit hesitant; but I changed my mind when I saw that there was Italian sausage too. You probably don't care what I had for lunch - and I don't blame you. The spinach reminded me of someone though.

Like any kid born from the 30's through the late 70's Popeye the Sailor Man was an iconic part of my childhood. He never quite convinced me to eat cooked spinach though. I remember seeing it sitting there next to the mashed potatoes in the Luby's cafeteria line and wondering why they would put something so terrible next to something so wonderful. There was no chance that my parents were going to let me get a piece of pie further down by the money lady - so my mashed potatoes would be all I had to look forward to ... and they better not taste like spinach.

My favorite Popeye cartoons were when he and Brutus would try to out-fish, out-sail, out-fight each other. It was just as violent as Tom and Jerry (the original Itchy and Scratchy) but always seemed more fun. He was always defeated - but I never could help rooting for Tom a bit. With Popeye, it was always clear who the good guy was. The guy with the cool anchor tattoos that would morph into rockets when he ate his spinach.

My granddad looked just like Popeye. Short with huge forearms a pointed chin and a high pitched little chuckle. He worked for the railroads for most of his life starting out when he joined the army at 16 or 17 back in WWII. He was flat footed so he had to work stateside moving the supply trains all over. He never said much, but he never stopped working. Like Popeye, I'm convinced that he could have bench pressed me when I graduated from college. T and I used to play cards with he and grandma when we lived in Springfield. He never really tried to outwit the other team and would discard exactly what we needed without a second thought ... but he played his hand to win. Grandma would get mad at him for not letting her play the points in her hand, but they still won anyway.

Lunch was good today, maybe I'm finally learning to eat my spinach.