Not Quite National BBQ Tour - Part 9: Tom Jenkin's Bar-B-Q

Sunday night, as the plane was landing in Fort Lauderdale, my seatmate asked me if I was in town for business or fun.  We had a brief conversation about the area and the joys of business travel (he was flying home).  When he suggested that I try to have some fun, I decided to ask about BBQ … and after a few moments of reflection he told me about ‘Tom Jenkins BBQ’.   It would mean a driving back to Ft Lauderdale from Miramar, but definitely worth the trip.  As we de-planed, he turned around to tell me not to try them on until Tuesday since they aren't open on Mondays.

Heads Up!  The Rating Scale Has been Revised – Again!

RATING DEFINITIONS # STAR / 10

0-1  =   Its BBQ … I’ll try just about any place once
2-3  =   HONORABLE MENTION … well executed even if not to my liking
4-7  =   GOOD BBQ … flavorful, distinct, and presented well with good sides
8-9  =   REALLY GOOD BBQ … The Whole Package + That Something Special
10   =    The Undiscovered Country … If I ever really find the best, I’d have to stop looking

Tom Jenkins Bar-B-Q

Despite the name, the restaurant was in fact founded by 2 guys (neither are named Tom) named Harry and Gary.  At first it was just a sauce, then a food trailer, and since 1996 one of the great Mom N Pop BBQ shops in the world -  just north of the Ft. Lauderdale Airport on Highway 1.  I parked next to a huge smoker and right under a sign displaying the hours of operation:  Tuesday – Saturday 11am-8pm, Closed Sunday (For Church), Closed Monday (For Fishin’)

THE PLACE

This is right in Ft. Lauderdale, so retail space is at a premium, and the whole joint parking lot included would have fit inside the Scrubbys I visited last night.  Everything is old dark wood with a big counter and 4 picnic tables crammed inside (along with some benches along the wall).  Its dark, it’s full of wood smoke … it’s wonderful.  By the way if it’s your first visit don’t just walk up to the counter thinking you can order.  That’s for picking up carry-out orders.  The dine-in  line starts to the right of the door and snakes through the tables up to the side of the counter.  One at a time please – and no pushing.


THE FOOD

2 Meat combo with 2 sides and corn bread + a drink and a dessert = under $20

* Brisket (chopped):  When I was ordering, I asked if the brisket was sliced or chopped.  Right about then …. Gary pulled out a hunk of brisket and chopped it with a huge knife.  “You want it chopped”, he said; and he was right.  So good that  I (almost) forgot to put sauce on it.  Think about everything good about brisket (color, texture, flavor, fat content etc. etc.) it was that good.

* Spare Ribs:  Literally the best ribs I've ever had … and yes, that includes Kansas City.  It took just enough effort to pull the meat off the bones and the flavor was amazing.  I was sad to only get 3 huge meaty ribs in my order.

* Baked Beans: Yummy, with brisket cooked in (excellent with a bit of cornbread added).

* Mac N Cheese:  One of the agents in my class this week suggested the mac (and the collard greens).  I wasn't brave enough for the greens, but the mac was fantastic

* Bonus Side Corn Bread:  Thick enough that I wanted some butter – but it worked great with some of the sauce (and the baked beans).

* The Sauce:  They only have one sauce at Tom Jenkins.  It’s a good right-down-the-middle sauce not necessary for the food, but a great add.

*  Sweet Potato Pie:  A few of the folks in line were ordering whole pies to take home and convinced me to try a slice (ok I wasn't that difficult to convince).  Not being very familiar with this sort of pie, I was happily surprised and even more thrilled when I got to the fabulous crust.  It was a great way to put out the gentle fire from the sauce.

THE WRAP-UP

Based on my change to the rating scales above, you've probably already guessed that this visit made me rethink my Kansas City BBQ snobbery.  I have too much love for My KC Favorites (Oklahoma Joes and Jack’s Stack) to rate them lower that what I ate here (in South Florida of all places), but Tom Jenkins is right up there.  I’m happy to award a well-deserved 8.5 Stars and will be stopping back by Friday afternoon on my way to the airport for a second go at this unexpected treasure.

Not Quite National BBQ Tour - Part 8: The Original Scruby's BBQ

Since I have to ‘suffer’ through a week in south central FL, I thought I might try a few of the local BBQ places.  The NQNBT was started on a business trip to Birmingham, so I take it as a sacred responsibility to immerse myself in local Q culture.  If you've read any of the other posts, you know I’m not an expert – but it’s fun learning.  Not sure that I can manage 4 BBQ dinners in a row, but I had to make the first night count with a visit to Scrubys.


RATING DEFINITIONS # STAR / 10

0-1  =   Its BBQ … I’ll try just about any place once
2-3  =   Honorable Mention … well executed even if not to my liking
4-7  =   Good BBQ … flavorful, distinct, and presented well with good sides
8-9  =   Good Kansas City BBQ … see above + KC Magic
10   =    The Undiscovered Country

Scrubys, Pembroke Pines FL

Scruby’s [Skrew’bees] is the 2012 winner for best Ribs in Broward county and are in their 20th year of bringing the Q to south FL.  Apart from “Tom Jenkins BBQ”, this was the most recommended place for me to try.  And since it was just short drive down a palm tree lined boulevard from the hotel I headed out right after work – windows down, a long song block of Tom Petty tunes on the Radio, dashboard drumming all the way there.

THE PLACE

The joint features an open pit smoking process in a gigantic brick oven that is visible from the dining room.  Other than the prominent oven and some rustic benches, it is pretty unremarkable – strip mall sort of family dining setup crammed between a bunch of unfortunate neighbors with signs advertising various medical procedures [ - 2 points for location/character]


THE FOOD

I will say this for Scrubys, the prices are very reasonable.  I got a Beef Ribs and Brisket Combo with 3 sides and bread + a can of diet coke for under $15

* Brisket (sliced):  Right texture, right look, …. Lacking in flavor.  Without the sauces, all would have been lost.

* Beef Ribs:  The menu said that if I liked Prime Rib, these were the ribs I should order … and that would be true if my taste in Prime Rib had been developed over years at Golden Corral.  Again, pretty dull but satisfying with the sauce (see below).

* Baked Beans: Served with all meals … and surprisingly made of Pinto beans.  I expected some chili flavor, but just got beans and a little pork.

* Cole Slaw:  Also standard and very … Long John Silver-ish.  The cabbage was very finely chopped, so it was more a pile of white mush than anything else.

* French Fries:  Ore-Ida is Alright-a.  This was my only  self-selected side (the other options being baked potato and broccoli).  As usual, I used the fries to sample all the available sauces … which leads me to the good part of the review.

* Sauces:  Scrub’s  has 4 sauces at the table and all are available at the counter to take home.  The ‘Sweet’ and ‘Original’ were good but nearly indistinguishable; the ‘Hot’ wasn't …. but the Pepper-Vinegar was fun.  Now usually, any sauce that plays up its vinegar content makes me think of the thin un-sauces of places like Birmingham.  This was different.  It was thick like a Texas sauce but  nearly clear and gave a great flavor to all the low-taste food.  If the Open Pit was the downside, this was the upside.  Even the toddler-fodder fries were fun with this stuff.

THE WRAP-UP

After doing a bit more reading up on Scrubys, I found that a big part of their famous ribs is a secret rub that is inexplicably only used on Wednesdays.  This is making me rethink my nearly wholesale “meh” opinion of the food and might be enough to try them again.  There also seems to be a lot of attention given to the pork side of the menu, so maybe there is a whole world of flavors put there and I just ordered the wrong stuff.  Taking into account the lousy location and unexpected sauce … overall, Scruby-Do gets 4 Scruby-Snacks and a possible rematch on this or another of my trips to Florida.  If I wasn't flying, I think I’d try to get some of that Pepper Sauce to take home.

Not Quite National BBQ Tour - Part 7: Union Woodshop

So the guys of the Bema Seat BBQ Association were off (in style) on another adventure this weekend. After lots of word-of-mouth advertising and TV features galore, we decided it was time to make the trek out to Clarkston to try out the Union Woodshop.  We purposefully moved the meal to Saturday and planned for an obscure 2:30pm "L-INNER" meal to avoid all the crowds we were warned about.  We got right in and had a good time talking BBQ and all things manly .... but you're here to read about the Meat! - so let's get to it.

RATING DEFINITIONS # STAR / 10

0-1  =   Its BBQ … I’ll try just about any place once,  even Dickey’s

2-3  =   Honorable Mention … well executed even if not to my liking

4-7  =   Good BBQ … flavorful, distinct, and presented well with good sides

8-9  =   Good Kansas City BBQ … see above + KC Magic

10   =    The Undiscovered Country 

... please note that the ratings have been revised to acknowledge the possibility of good BBQ outside Kansas City.

Union Woodshop, ClarkstonMI

The Woodshop is famously one of the 2 "Unions" in Clarkston MI.  The Mac & Cheese that made the Clarkston Union famous has made its way here along with some of the trappings of a failed fancy restaurant that got a bit too big for its britches. According to the menu, the website - and many of the folks that recommend it - the Woodshop also features the best Pulled Pork in SE Michigan.

THE PLACE

Grown-ups eat here ... and ... and ladies with fancy hairdos.  No seriously, the atmosphere is designer-rustic with beautiful carved wood and chandeliers competing for your attention with metal trays and plywood floors.  No gift shop in sight - but this is destination BBQ, and the surroundings are a big part of why you'd journey out this way.

THE FOOD

More than one of the Bema Seat Gang was surprised at how relatively few options there were for ordering BBQ.  Basically you got a sliced meat or ribs, and then added any other meat as a sidecar.  This made it a bit pricey to try very many of the selections, so there was a bit of sharing at the table ... but as always, I'll limit my comments to what I actually tried.

* Brisket (sliced) - Nice and thick. Good flavor, though not very much of it.  To me the brisket is the single greatest measure of the BBQ joint.  I was sad to see it go - more so because I spent so little time with it.

* Pulled Pork - heavy on the smoke flavor - so much that it was almost all you tasted.  With this being a headline item, I expected more fireworks ... but maybe that has more to do with the sauces (see my note below).

* Spare Ribs - Mr Day was kind enough to literally 'throw me a bone' in exchange for some of the highly anticipate pork.  This was by far the best meat of the meal and may just be reason enough for me to start leaning away from brisket as the go-to order in future excursions.

* Baked Beans: Tried a sample before ordering (good call Bema Seat brothers) and glad we did ... no love here, nothing to see - move a long.

* Sweet Potato Mash:  Wow this was good ... Charred Jalapenos and Michigan Maple Syrup.  Again, only a tiny portion but for my money, this was the most exciting flavor of the day.

* Union Mac & Cheese:  Tasty, stringy, and appropriately cheesy (I tasted at least 4 cheeses).  Other than the onion rings I saw around the table, this was by far the most generous serving on the table.

* Sauces:  The Woodshop features 5 sauces at the table and 2 that are available on request.  Best of the bunch was a South Carolina Mustard - worst was an incomprehensible mayo-based sauce attributed to Alabama - and honorable mention to the "Hell Michigan" request only sauce.  Hell - it turned out - wasn't all that hot after all (even with ghost chilies and capsaicin extract) - but was the best of the tomato based sauces.

THE WRAP-UP

So, the Woodshop was a fun experience with really great sides but small portions and weird sauces.  That's quite a few pluses and minuses to take into account, but if I get my slide-rule out and include the untested variables (chicken / sausage etc) it rates a respectable 5 ... a solid non-Kansas City score that's only been topped locally by Billy Sims and Bad Brads.  Wish Brad's could get the Sweet Potato mash together  .... *sigh*

Note:  I did manage to bring home 1 small piece of brisket and a bit of pulled pork to try with the KC Masterpiece sauce I had in the fridge.  It was excellent and made the pork truly wonderful.  Maybe we should really start smuggling in our own sauce.

Not Quite National BBQ Tour - Part 4: Billy Sims BBQ

Having lived in Indiana for several years, I was beginning to think that Kansas City was the furthest north a Brisket-Head like me could find decent BBQ.  That has happily been proven false ... and so I've resurrected the N.Q.N.B. Tour.  If you are date checking, you'll notice that the Michigan posts are a bit out of order since I decided to number them in order of my first visit - rather than when I got around to posting about them.

RATING DEFINITIONS # STAR / 10

0-1  =   Its BBQ … I’ll try just about any place once,  even Dickey’s

2-3  =   Honorable Mention … well executed even if not to my liking

4-5  =   Good BBQ … flavorful, distinct, and presented well with good sides

6-7  =   Good Kansas City BBQ … see above + KC Magic

8-10  = The Undiscovered Country  

Billy Sims Barbecue, Southfield MI

While working in Southfield as a consultant early last year, several of the participants in my training class recommended Billy Sims as the place to go for BBQ.  Having been sorely disappointed by my search of Indiana (hereafter to be referred to as BBQ-Mordor), I was skeptical but willing to try it.  Not being a Lion's fan .. or admittedly that much of a football history buff, the name didn't mean anything to me  - but the fact that  he was a "Sooner" meant Oklahoma ... and that meant there was hope.  Now that I've researched a bit, I know that there are Billy Sims all over, even one in my home town of Springfield MO.  My first visit however was free of the dreaded franchise label and I'll only be commenting on this specific location.

THE PLACE

Not your linen napkin BBQ, in fact I was disappointed at first with what seemed to be a converted generic fast food building (I'm betting it was a captain D's).  They have tables and booths, TV overhead, a clean bathroom and a small area of Billy Sims shirts / merchandise.

... But you don't pick a good BBQ place because they sell T-shirts or have fancy fireplaces to sit next to, it's all about ...

THE FOOD

It had been so long since my first visit that Tonya, Chandler and I stopped on Sunday on our way back from Jackson.  We shared a 4-Meat (Double serving of brisket, Polish Sausage, and Pulled Pork) with a couple extras and spent a little over $25.  Sauces were simple but good (1 hot, 1 sweet) and great mixed together.

* Brisket - very good.  Just fatty enough to be flavorful and much to my amazement, T (normally a pulled-pork-only gal) said that it was good enough that she'd order it in the future.

* Pulled Pork - again very good.  Not quite shredded.  Truly worthy of a sandwich only visit.  As mentioned above, this is what Tonya considers BBQ and she was happy.

* Polish Sausage - nothing fancy but smoked incredibly well, dare I say perfect.  Chan and I ate most of it to begin with, but nobody seemed to have enough, so we ordered a bit more by weight (see my note below on the carry out options) and everybody had a few additional smiles.

* Baked Beans: good.  I definitely noticed some of the Brisket in there and by far the best side I've tried on any of my visits to Billy Sims.

* Potato Salad:  ennnhh.  I didn't ask if it was their own - but I would not be surprised if it came in a big tub.

* (BONUS SIDE) Texas Toast:  yummy.  You can add a piece for about 50 cents and make your own sandwich from the meat on your dinner plate.

THE WRAP-UP

The big win for me was the carryout portion of the menu.  All the meats and sides are available to order by weight and reasonably priced.  All the business we saw on Sunday was carry out and it seems to be what they expect when a customer walks up.  Bad Brad's is still the family go-to for a total BBQ experience near the house, but if I'm in Southfield for work (or near the 3 other locations in the area) I'll be bringing it home.

Billy Sims gets a 5 Star rating.  Not bad for Michigan.  T and Chan said that it was still worthy of introducing other folks to ... and I have to admit that had I tried it first in one of the many Oklahoma locations, it might have even earned a Kansas City Level 6.

Speaking of Kansas City ... I've not written reviews for any of my personal favorites (or un-favs) since most of my original readers are from there.  Still, I may have to go for a visit to make sure I'm remembering correctly.  It's about time to see our Overland Park peeps right T?

Not Quite National BBQ Tour - Part 3: Ted's Montana Grill ?

**Re-Posted from 2009**

Tonight I did a few laps around the Galleria Mall here in Hoover (Birmingham) while looking for a new place to review. There are still a couple more BBQ joints on my list – but diversity is a good thing. I was about to settle for a Barbacoa Burrito from Chipotle Grill, when I saw a Buffalo.

... Ted’s Montana Grill.....


THE PLACE

Thanks to the corporate website, I’ve learned that the aforementioned ‘Ted’ is the Ted Turner of CNN, TNT, and so many badly colorized versions of classic movies that they needed another cable channel for them. Based on the pervasive branding in the restaurant (and it’s proximity to an Olive Garden and a Ruby Tuesdays), I knew this was a chain – but it was new to me …. And did I mention they serve buffalo?

On the menu, they call it Bison … and after more research (thanks wikipedia) I’ve learned that the American Buffalo was, like the American Indian, badly named. The Bison is only marginally related to the actual buffalo in Asia and Africa … so when Mr. Environmentally Sensitive Turner was getting a chain of eateries, they made sure to get the name right.



THE FOOD

* Bison Meatloaf: I didn’t think I’d be showing the majestic Bison his due respect by eating a bison-burger, so I got the meatloaf. Very tasty and (as the menu points out) “always served with a side of good conscience and two vegetables”.

* Garlic Mashed Potatoes: Like everything else on the plate, the serving of potatoes was portioned to be enough but not too much. They were just lumpy enough to have good texture and yummy with the Bison gravy.

* Aunt Fannie’ Squash Casserole: Somewhere between baked squash and stuffing, this was a neat change and proved once again that the best vegetables are rarely green.

* Big Chunk Chocolate Chip Cookie: This came with my meal – so I didn’t have to agonize over the key-lime pie. What does key-lime have to do with Montana? Oh, that’s right; Mr. Good Conscience is from Atlanta.


THE WRAP-UP

Ted’s was a nice diversion and gave a good enough showing that I might stop at one of the two Indianapolis locations (or 49 others elsewhere). The menu is diverse enough that I feel comfortable giving it 2/10 Expense Reports as long as I can still fill them out in black and white and not have to worry about someone redoing them for a new generation.

Not Quite National BBQ Tour - Part 1: Jim 'N Nick's

** Re-Posted From June 2009 **

With nearly 2 months of corporate allowance to spend while I'm down south, I thought this might be a good opportunity to share some insights into the Birmingham dining scene and prove once and for all ... that I should never be allowed to write anything even resembling a serious restaurant review.

I have had a few food recommendations already (along with a few bits of culture/history to see); so I can't promise daily updates, but who knows you might just find my misadventures educational - if not a chance to laugh at how lost you can get in a strange city using only a bad map from the car rental agency and directions that include phrases like "down by the river".

... Jim 'N Nick's.....

Well, this one had potential: big stacks of firewood out back, a flying pig on the sign, and a drive-by smell so good that I made tonight's dinner plans yesterday before I even made it into the hotel parking lot (Jim 'N Nick's is right next door).

I'll save you the suspense, and just go ahead and give this one 1/10 "Expense Reports". For those of you that aren't familiar with this rating system, I'll clarify. When on a 2 week (10 day) business trip to the Birmingham area, I'd plan on at least 1 trip to Jim N' Nick's. With that in mind, 1/10 isn't all that bad ... just nothing so spectacular that I'd want to go back within 2 weeks.

- THE PLACE -
This is a pretty relaxed casual dining place for the fam' ... staff was very attentive and friendly. If weather permits, sit outside on the patio. From listening to the tables around me (and reading the menu), I learned that they do a lot of drive through and walk-up carry-out business ... always a good sign. Most of the meats take 14 hours to prepare - so if you go late, they might be out of your favorites.


- THE FOOD -
I had the 2 sliced meats platter with sides and dessert.
* BBQ Sausage: Tasty, yet a little too spicy to get excited about
* Beef Brisket: Very Good (without the sauce)
* Slaw: Better than the tub-o-slaw you get at most grocery stores
* Onion Rings: Very Good ... but could have been great with better BBQ sauce
* Coconut Cream Pie: Awesome - worth walking across the parking lot for all by itself (hey, that's a good idea).


- THE WRAP -
Overall, it was that sauce that kept Jim N' Nick's from being amazing. I actually asked if there was anything sweeter to go with my onion rings, and was offered ketchup. With that in mind, I'm glad that I passed on the Habanaro sauce. I don't mind spicy food - but BBQ should have molasses as a main ingredient. With the pie being so good, I may have to pick up some "Sweet Baby Rays" or "KC Masterpiece" at the store and order some carry out.

Not Quite National BBQ Tour - Part 2: Full Moon BBQ

** Re-Posted From June 2009 **

Well … here it is: the second of the likely-to-be-short-lived note-blog series on my sight-seeing and dining in Birmingham Alabama. The 3 brave friends that commented to yesterday’s post have been thank-you-tagged. Whether that makes you more or less inclined to comment is up to you; but hopefully the note-blog will be a bit more interactive that way and give you a chance to meet other people that actually care about what I had for dinner.

... Full Moon Bar-B-Que.....

I’m a sucker for marketing – especially marketing that sounds more like interesting semi-useful facts than TV-jingles. With that in mind, I have to confess that I may have been mentally dishing out the Expense Reports* even before I got up to the counter to order. For starters, the menu has the History of the restaurant right on the cover (in quasi-readable 10-point font) and gives all kinds of good-to-know stuff. For example: “Chow-Chow” is apparently not an annoying dog, but a spicy-southern-sweet-relish. Another good bit of tid-bit marketing … the slaw is listed in “100-Dishes-To-Eat-In-Alabama-Before-You-Die”.

* Expense Reports are my not-so-catchy version of restaurant review points … instead of using Stars, Diamonds, Pepperoni, or Wagon Wheels etc. In this case it refers to the number of company-paid dinners I would eat there on a two-week business trip.

THE PLACE

Two words on the decorations: ‘Au…Burn’. Not being much of a sports fan, much less a life-long-lover of Alabama college ball, I’ll just say that the atmosphere has some “opportunities”. That being said, the tables were made of actual wood and I got to sit in a booth by myself … so I was ok.

THE FOOD

* Black Angus Beef-Brisket: That’s what I’m talkin’-bout-Willis-I-mean-Arnold. The meat was flavorful in itself, and the small amount of sauce it was served with was just right.

* Slaw: Very good: … The fact-based menu describes it as a vinaigrette slaw and it is certainly worthy of the Alabama’s Food-Bucket-List status.

* Baked Beans: Not as good as Fiorella’s Jack’s Stack … but worth ordering.

* Bread, Pickles, and Chow-Chow: I don’t usually care much about these auxiliary side dishes - treating them like parsley. Maybe it was because I didn’t have fist-sized onion-rings to eat around, but they really added to the meal.

* Coconut Cream Pie: Last night, I called it “awesome” and it was again tonight. Either they have the same recipe, the same supplier, or somebody’s got the other restaurant on speed dial. It was exactly the same … and $2.50 cheaper.

THE WRAP

No surprises at the end: Full Moon Bar-B-Que was great. I give it 4/10 Expense Reports and will be going back soon. After all, I still haven’t tried their signature half-moon pecan-chocolate-chip cookies (half-dipped in chocolate sauce). By the way… you can stop counting now Drew. I used the hyphen/dash 55 times in this post. What do you expect from a Bar "-" B "-" Que review?

(oops, make that 58)

Not Quite National BBQ Tour - Part 6: My Place

This restaurant review below is a re-post from facebook.  Thought I'd put some stuff like this here so the ol' dashboard doesn't get too lonely.  Besides, T & Dust can't still be the only ones still blogging.

** side note: I heard a comedian joke last night that Mark Zuckerberg just turned 30 - making him the youngest person still on facebook.  With that in mind, what does that make us bloggers? **

.......................................................

As requested, I’m fulfilling my Bema Seat BBQ requirements by posting a review.  This is the 3^rd BBQ  joint I’ve visited since our move to Michigan – so technically, I’m behind by two write ups.  To make this one fit with my past reviews (like the ‘BBQ Over Birmingham Blog’ tour), I’ll be using my 10 STAR rating system: 

RATING DEFINITIONS # STAR / 10

0-1  =   Its BBQ … I’ll try just about any place once,  even Dickey’s

2-3  =   Honorable Mention … well executed even if not to my liking

4-5  =   Good BBQ … flavorful, distinct, and presented well with good sides

6-7  =   Good Kansas City BBQ … see above + KC Magic

8-10  = The Undiscovered Country  

My Place..... Lenox MI

My preliminary web search of “My Place” had some promise.  Nearly every review I could find mentioned the wonderful donuts they sold in the mornings.  The prospect of having an after-dinner cruller was definitely a plus – still this is a BBQ review, so I was determined to stay focused and not give any extra points for breakfast pastries.  More on that in the wrap-up.

THE PLACE

Think converted small town Dairy Barn / Tastee Freeze.  Wood and working smoker prominently displayed in the parking lot – a few outside tables and just enough inside for the quick BBQ pit stop.  This is not a linen napkin BBQ – and that was a plus in my book.  Service was nice and I noted a good effort to make sure everyone in our party of 6 had what they wanted ready by the time we all arrived.  ‘My Place’ is new enough that it doesn’t have the history some BBQ restaurants try to cash in on over quality.  Based on the food though, I’m thinking they might need to make some up.

THE FOOD

*Sliced Brisket – decent but bland.  Only the Apple BBQ Sauce (1 of 5 choices) seemed to give it any flavor.  Brisket should stand on its own with sauce just adding to the party.

*Cajun Sausage – this was great.  That waitress indicated that they make it onsite, doing the casings and all.  Of the whole meal this was the best part and based on the lack of good BBQ sausage so far in Michigan, would be the only reason to go back.

* Steak Fries: ok but forgettable … this really underscores the poor sauce options.  All were very tomato heavy and made my habit of testing all the flavors with my fries disappointing.

* Baked Beans: these were good, probably because they featured the sausage.

THE WRAP-UP

You’ll notice from the food description that the promise of donuts went unfulfilled.  Talk at the table confirmed the bad news … donuts were no longer on the menu.  My guess is that the Tim Horton’s next door had something to do with that. Hopefully they’ll be able to deliver better now that they are specialized.  ‘My Place’ gets a disappointing 2 Stars.  I’d recommend some variations in sauce selections and more down-home nostalgia around what they are getting right (like telling the story of that great sausage) to keep folks coming back.

An Even Shorter Post From Dash

This Sucks!

Dash's Crappy Haikus # 23

Happiness is known
A Hershy's Special Dark sits
Cold in my lunch box

THE Burger

C-man has been saying lately that he really wanted a burger.

Ever since McD's came out with a $1 chicken sandwich (which he considers a giant chicken nugget on bread) he's been rather cow-friendly. When we go to a casual dining place, he usually orders a turkey-lurkey, kids breakfast plate, or the ocasional ribblet basket .... so when he started talking about a burger we noticed. After a week of burger requests (and learning the truth that C-man and one of his friends have been seriously discussing resturaunts at recess) even I was was craving a 'big juicy' burger. Chandler was even quick to agree that when he was saying "juicy", he meant greasy.

Even before the kids were out of school, T and I had agreed (via our midafternoon teleconference) that tonight was going to be burger night. I offered to stop by the store and pick up some black angus burgers, buns etc. and cook them up on the grill. The kids were rooting for a dine-in sonic experience .... and were about to prevail, when I commented that if they wanted to go get a flat-griddle-fried burger more than my home made burgers that was "fine".

Those of you that are women know (and I'm still learning this) that anything answered with "fine" is - in fact - not really the best option. In a stroke a brilliance ... and in an attempt to bring Tonya's vote over to my side with the promise of potato-skins ... I suggested that Chili's has good "juicy" burgers. To my surprise, C-man immediately agreed. It turns out that Chili's had gotten good recess reviews for serving corn on the cob even when it was out of season. My kids aren't really the agricultural type and we don't really visit that many farmer's markets, so C-man using the phrase "out of season" again caught our attention.

Our meal was great (though the Blackberry Tea was disapointing). I, myself enjoyed a fantasically huge mushroom-swiss burger cooked medium rare - I didn't even know you could get burger medium rare anymore. There was just enough good "juicy stuff" dropping out of the oversized bun to make my fries really tasty. Most of my recent beef experiences have been of the $1 menu variety, so this has consumed way too much of my thoughts for the rest of evening.

I almost blurted out how much I enjoyed the mushroom-swiss nirvanna tonight at homer's and that I have been slightly worried that I should have picked the cracked peppercorn with bleu cheese instead. Happily, I was able to contain my glee and share it with you here.

Happy Craving.

There's Stew On My Shirt

I'm just finishing up a fantastic helping of T's beef stew. As I enjoyed it, I had been wondering about why I haven't been able to find anything blog-worthy in the last month. (Yes it's been 31 days since Dash has been to the dashboard.)

I can't really say that I've been unusually stressed - or especially busy at work - or even all that melancholy; but I suspect it has a lot more to do with a change in my routine than anything interesting. With nothing else to expound on, I guess I will continue with my somewhat inconsistent trend of reviewing the books that I "read" on my way back and forth to work.

My latest adventure is 'The Witch's Boy' by Michael Gruber. I should start by telling you that I was embarrassed when the Librarian told me that the reason I couldn't find the title in the CD audio section was that it was in the "juvenile" area. This made me feel silly for trusting that silly NPR book reviewer, Nancy Pearl. It turns out though that Pearl was right and the Witch's Boy has been a delightful read.

The story starts with (what else) a witch finding an abandoned - and quite ugly - baby in the forrest. She names him Lump and raises him as her own balancing her new mothering duties with her magical ones (think cat's in the cradle .... but more literally). Lump grows up in her house with a she-bear for a nurse and a malevolent-though imprisoned jinn for a schoolmaster. These colorful characters, along with the aforementioned cat make up his universe. He never meets other people, never knows a world without magic, and all the stories he sees acted out on his enchanted bedroom walls are filled with handsome heroes that look just like him.

Not surprisingly, when Lump does meet other human children the results are rather disastrous and in the chaos and resulting magical council, Mom loses most of her powers. She along with a now transformed cat-become-coachman perform at circus shows with acrobatics and parlor tricks throughout the kingdom.

If you thought the bit about a cat turning into a coachman sounded familiar ... add to it the fact that he drove a carriage made from a pumpkin ... and the carriage was pulled by two rats that were made into horses ..... and you'll catch on to the fact that the Witch's boy is liberally sprinkled with classic fairy tales. So far I've caught: Cinderella, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, Red Riding Hood, Aladdin, Snow White (which is really funny) and Rumplestiltskin. Each story is rather turned on it's head in an almost "fractured fairy-tale" way reminiscent of the old shorts on Rocky and Bullwinkle. I won't give away too much here other than to say that the reader should remember that Lump's mother is quite sensible and knows most if not all of the people in these stories (she's is red riding hood herself) and has a decidedly practical take on their behavior.

As is too often the case, I've not waited until finishing the book to write my little blog entry. So, keep in mind that it might end terribly - but I hope not.

Not sure how the stew-spot on my shirt got me here. But it was certainly yummy.

The Last Grape Soda

Sometime in early May, I made a horrible purchase at our local Price Chopper. Although it will forever be known as "the nasty soda", the good folks at Pepsi called it Grape Slice ONE. This 12 ounce Splenda-sweetened-can-o'-crap is:

"Sugar Free"
"Calorie Free"
"Caffeine Free"

Sadly, the soda was not taste free as well.

Just to give you a 'taste' of how bad this drink is; I'll point out that even c-man, a lover of all fruit sodas refused to take more than a single sip. Friends of ours that regularly purchase off-brand fruit sodas and claim no brand loyalty grimaced at the flavor and happily dumped nearly full cans on my lawn when prompted.

The closest (edible) products I can compare the flavor to are those nasty purple "dino-flavored" tablets left in the Flintstone chewable vitamins bottle at the end of a summer. When I was a child, I always thought that the dino-vitamins were actually intended to be dog vitamins - but had been added to my Flintstones bottle in a strange packaging mishap.

The original fridge pack contained 12 cans - I'm just now finishing the last one as I type this. You may ask why I didn't just throw them out with T's rotting Birthday bouquet? I can only say that it is somehow (to me at least) extremely wrong to put a full can of soda in the trash can. After giving up on my plan to offer "the nasty soda" to neighborhood children and visiting members of our home group (fearing violent reprisals); I embarked on a personal quest to finish the 4 remaining cans over the holiday weekend.

I'm one day late - but the evil has departed.

Red Velvet Hot Spot

The night before we left for vacation, our home group met (wonderfully) at someone else's house for the first time. Although we never seemed to get around to the devotion, we played a game and had a lot of fun. When our host family's daughter asked if anyone wanted some of her birthday cake for desert, I was still planning on having a small piece of the cheesecake we brought .... but then she mentioned that it was red-velvet cake with cream cheese frosting!

As you can tell by now, I'm a big fan of red-velvet cake. In fact it is by far my favorite dessert (even surpassing Tiramisu at Homers'). It was tasty and gave me a chance to brag on my mother-in-law and her best-in-the-world-red-velvet cake that she used to make for my birthdays when we lived in Indiana. I've missed it since moving to OP... but now I live in the lap of technology: Wireless highspeed internet, 4 bars of cell-phone reception, and on-demand cable programming.

The 56k modem T's mom was using went out after a recent lightning strike and the new modem we ordered from Dell got us nothing more than a $25 bench fee from the local computer guy three towns over. Irritatingly, the Ethernet and wireless connections were working fine .... too bad she couldn't get DSL out where she lived ..... or could she? After a few phone calls to the local rural telephone cooperative, I was able to confirm that high speed service is now available and thanks to the guilt they feel over the fried modem, I was able to get them to wave the $200 installation fee. I picked up a wireless router at the Wal-Mart.

The best part of the story is that T's dad will be able to do some work from home using his company's remote access when he is in town and we will be able to have internet at the farm when we visit. It might not come with Macadamia chocolate blend, but surfing in my bare feet while eating red-velvet cake will be rural piece of heaven.

Snow and Steaks

I'm in Omaha this week attending a training class for a new system my company will be using. Keep in mind that of the top 10 places I'd like to travel to for business in November - Omaha is number 27. The food has been the only redeeming part of the trip. The advantage to me blogging about it is you'll now have an excuse to keep me from talking about it when I get back.

I had an outstanding steak last night in the hotel restaurant. This was Nebraska corn-fed beef; and boy was it tasty! Since it was my only meal of the day on the company's dime, I felt obliged to make up for not spending anything else. By the time I finished my triple chocolate cake I was a done for the day - in more ways than one. Not usually a fan of the kind of food you can get in the lobby of a Marriott, I was happily surprised - and very full.

After an incredibly long day filled with explanations of file structures and account entry screens - I headed to the local P.F. Changs. My usual favorite when going out for Chinese is the General's Chicken. It however was substantially less than the seafood options ... so tonight was peppered calimari and kung pow prawns.

I'm wiped out after "learning" all day - but I still might get some deep fried cheesecake. Tomorrow will be delinquent accounts and loss recovery. Sounds like Italian ... or maybe sushi ... then again, you can't go wrong with snow and steak.

Popeye

I had pasta with spinach for lunch today. Not usually a cooked spinach fan, I was a first a bit hesitant; but I changed my mind when I saw that there was Italian sausage too. You probably don't care what I had for lunch - and I don't blame you. The spinach reminded me of someone though.

Like any kid born from the 30's through the late 70's Popeye the Sailor Man was an iconic part of my childhood. He never quite convinced me to eat cooked spinach though. I remember seeing it sitting there next to the mashed potatoes in the Luby's cafeteria line and wondering why they would put something so terrible next to something so wonderful. There was no chance that my parents were going to let me get a piece of pie further down by the money lady - so my mashed potatoes would be all I had to look forward to ... and they better not taste like spinach.

My favorite Popeye cartoons were when he and Brutus would try to out-fish, out-sail, out-fight each other. It was just as violent as Tom and Jerry (the original Itchy and Scratchy) but always seemed more fun. He was always defeated - but I never could help rooting for Tom a bit. With Popeye, it was always clear who the good guy was. The guy with the cool anchor tattoos that would morph into rockets when he ate his spinach.

My granddad looked just like Popeye. Short with huge forearms a pointed chin and a high pitched little chuckle. He worked for the railroads for most of his life starting out when he joined the army at 16 or 17 back in WWII. He was flat footed so he had to work stateside moving the supply trains all over. He never said much, but he never stopped working. Like Popeye, I'm convinced that he could have bench pressed me when I graduated from college. T and I used to play cards with he and grandma when we lived in Springfield. He never really tried to outwit the other team and would discard exactly what we needed without a second thought ... but he played his hand to win. Grandma would get mad at him for not letting her play the points in her hand, but they still won anyway.

Lunch was good today, maybe I'm finally learning to eat my spinach.

Roberto

CitiCards, my employer, has a nationwide contract with Aaramark Services to provide on-site cafeteria style dining at all of its major sites. Having been to some of the sites, I can tell you that they only vary slightly; it's rather refreshing to be in a different city and be able to order (almost) exactly the same meal that you get back home. The water in Jacksonville smells funny, so I've learned to always buy bottled soda. The salad in Albuquerque leaves a little to be desired. The Irving diner, for some unfathomable reason, doesn't take my corporate Diners Club card.

Back home in KC, we have grill cook named Roberto. He makes my morning omelets on the days that I have salad for lunch as well as a variety of hot lunch sandwiches, specialty burgers .. even the occasional calzone. I think Roberto moved to the states from Mexico; and he has brought some of his local flavors with him. Today (without permission) he slipped in some Mexican sausage called chorizo because he, "thought I would like it". On other occasions, he has dropped my omelets into a tortilla and spread salsa across the top.

Roberto has taken it upon himself to teach me to order in Spanish. He'll make me repeat myself even when I've got 10 people standing on line behind me. I'm picking it up slowly, but can now say "tres huevos" instead 3 eggs. I'm still not sure of the Spanish word for omelet - but I've used queso for cheese for over a month now. Even if I get it wrong, he knows that I trust him; I however, never know what to expect in my little white box ... but I do know that it will cost $3.91.