I read 'Flowers for Algernon" in 8th grade. After hearing the blob test refered to as the "Raw Shark" test so much .... I have to think of it first before remembering that it's called a "Rorschach". Does anyone else remeber this story. It was required reading for me, so I'm assuming a few other folks have it rustling about in their heads as well.
I often see Charlie Gordon when I look in the mirror. So many times, I'll look back over my life and see a part of me that seems to have slipped back into mediocrity - sliding quickly into being sub-standard. That is, if I'm honnest with myself, the greatest terror of my existence ... to lose what I so tightly clutch in my little hand. Like Charlie, I fear losing my ability to reason (such as it is) and I fear losing my compassion, my humour, my self.
I'm not sure, in this case, that it is better to have loved / thought and lost. Eventually the void would be so great that you don't recognize the parts that are missing. Still, there must be flashes of what you once were - what you once felt.
Yet, in spite of this fear, it is exactly what I often allow in my own spiritual walk. I conciously stop becoming a more perfect instrument and choose to regress into something less than I expect even the fallen to be. Like Charlie, I've grown so much that I can diagnose my own condition, but I'm powerless to stop its progress.
"Here I am again alone. Afraid I'll lose all that I own
Yet you see me as your own I cannot fall.
And what I am I still am not at times I count the cost
yet I find there's nothing lost if I give it all.
Too many times I'm back inside wanting desperately to hide
Yet I know, i know you say you have to die
Too many times you hear my cries I'm at the end of all my tries
So, I'm open Lord, so teach me how to die ."
(Cheesy 80s lyrics provided by: M.W.S.)
11 comments:
Deep stuff dash! I like the spiritual parallell. Even with the 80's cheese!:)
I fear I'll reach an acceptance. Where who I am and who I will be level off. I want to be ever changing and growing in Christ and in life, but what if I just wake up and say "I'm done." I've almost been to that point several times in my life, but as I told my dad tonight, God has a way, similar to our earthly parents, of coaxing you into knowing when He desires more of you. I hope I stay "open Lord, so teach me how to die."
Golden read Living Above the Level of Mediocrity in college. Well, she read half of it.
I, on the other hand, strive that some day I will attain the level of mediocrity.
Wow, this is a different side to Dash....thanks for the inspiration and the spiritual insight.
I, on the other hand, strive that some day I will attain the level of mediocrity.
Dust, it must be tough being so perfect. If only you could be more average, if only... :)
I think I was implying that I was striving from the end opposite perfection.
Actually, I can never seem to attain mediocrity. That's not bragging. I either do a completely lousy job or I go all out. I need to learn to be more consistant.
I know, I just playing up on the whole "I'm perfect, I'm funny, I'm handsome, my opinions are correct, and gosh darnit, people like me."
:) - I feel cheesy for doing smileys all the time, but this is so people don't think I am being serious. (there are a lot of inside jokes that people may not catch.)
It's a Lip! It's a lip. It's a lip lip lip. It's a lip. It's a lip. It's a lip lip lip. It's a lip. It's a lip. It's a lip lip lip. LIPPPPPP. Lip. Lip. Lip.
(larry....I LOVE MY LIPS!)
I think I needed to put a smiley in my last post. :) :) :)
I think dash just wants extra comments, but he said I should explain that Larry was taking the ink blot test during the I love my lips song. He breaks into "It's a lip when the blots show up"
sonny bono
I knew what you were referring to...LOL! Of course, I have two little ones whose first words were "veggie tales"! =D
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