It's that time again in the citi ... time for our semi annual performance review. If you are unfamiliar with the "semi" think of it just as you would any other painful attempt to justify your existence - but without the glimmer of an unlikely pay raise. Apparently it's not enough to force all the people actually doing to work to drop everything to create a regurgitation of all the monthly and or weekly reports they've already submitted once a year - we get to do it twice!
Ok, I'm not really that bitter about doing a performance review on myself now and then. I realize that it's a good opportunity to point out the good stuff I do and make sure that no one ever says, "what does he do again?". On the other hand, if you're my manager, and I have to tell you what I've done in the last 6 months - something's not quite right.
I've started to get used to it, and now my semi's turn out to be compilations rather than regurgitations of all my reporting data - splashed with what I hope is an ironic sense of humor and the appropriate amount of indirect self-flattery. The one portion of the review that I simply can't stand though are the "competencies".
If you have to include competencies in your own self evaluations, you probably let out a small groan just reading the word. The official performance review guide, my 5th in 2 years, explains that it would be incomplete - and some say "unfair" to rate an employee simply based on their impact to the company or team .. (i.e. # projects completed, $ saved/earned, number of lawsuits filed against the employer etc.) We must add competencies that rate how professionally we did what we did.
For example:
Competency #6: Building Trust
* 6.3 - Business Ethics [Rating - 1-5] Describe with significant examples.
What kind of "significant examples" am I supposed to list?
- Dash demonstrated business ethics by not lying to his boss more than once a week over the last 6 months. This is 4.27% improvement over the last rating period. Dash achieved further excellence by achieving a 0% embezzlement rate and a corporate espionage level significantly lower that his peers. Dash communicates his ethical success throughout the organization and acts as an ethical practices champion for the region. [Competency rating: 4 - Outstanding Contribution]
7 comments:
A favorite Dilbert quote from when he was trying to get a raise by making his coworkers look bad.
"Ted, Let me explain revenue: It's like your embezzlement, but its directed at customers."
You might want to be careful Mr. Dash. I might start having you fill out these reports for home too! Compare and contrast the amount of time you spend doing your "honey do" list to your play time....btw, #1 thing on honey do list tonight....assemble bench and matching hutch! lymtty...right?!
This is truly a dilema...what if you rate yourself higher than your boss does? Do you have to submit an explanation in 100 words or less on your "competency" of big-headedness? What if you rate yourself lower than your boss does? Does it bring your average down so when it is time for a raise, they don't have to extend one to you?
BTW, did you read my blog on "ethics"? I can send you the questions from the online course, if you wish! LOL!
(After you assemble Dirt's bench/hutch, there is one at my house waiting to be assembled also!)
I loved that! Especially question #6 answer. Missionaries are now required to submit performance reviews to headquarters with some mighty scarey questions. Could you fill out mine if I send you the form? (after you get done building furniture for the ladies...)
Yes, dash exceeded expectations and built the bench and shelf. Child tested it today and with much enthusiasm said it was perfect for sitting on while putting shoes on!
I promise dash to work on my honey do list tonight and at the same time....I believe I have run out of wall space to buy any more "assembly required" pieces....well, I think anyway! Just don't let me start on the family room for a year or two and we're good!
Hey T! You should have Dash write up a performance report of extracurricular activities to submit for the "Community Contribution" section of his review! Maybe it would help add to his rating...LOL!
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